Witchy Kitchen

Category: Horror

  • Eclipse Pizza

    Eclipse Pizza

    Who should I summon with my pizza?

    It’s finally here!! It’s #Witchtober, hosted by Fiction Food Café. THAT’S RIGHT WITCHES!! Check out the tag for Witchy recipes from fiction all month long.

    The House of the Devil (2009), written and directed by Ti West, is a bit of a haunted house movie, a bit of a slasher, and a bit of witchy movie rolled in to one. What’s otherwise a basic tropey horror movie gets elevated by it’s full 80s style. From the titles to the soundtrack to the camerawork to the feathered hair and Satanic Panic, this movie feels like the cover of a VC Andrews novel and I loved it.

    An eclipse features heavily in the film, being both the occasion for the final ritual as well as inspiration for the special of the day in the pizza parlor that our final girl Samantha (Jocelin Donahue) and her friend Megan (Greta Gerwig) have lunch. “Eclipse Pie” is detailed on the chalkboard: white sauce, garlic, tomato, olives and feta. I put together such a pie using a few techniques I’ve collected over the years: those for New York pizza dough, white sauce, and deliciously slow-roasted romas that I make all the time and use for everything (you know, salads, pastas, drawing pentagrams). And voila: pizza fit for a demon.

    Eclipse Pizza

    For the white sauce
    From Serious Eats

    • 2 tablespoons olive oil
    • 1 small onion
    • 2 cloves garlic
    • 1/4 cup heavy cream
    • 2 sprigs thyme, chopped
    • salt & pepper

    Heat olive oil. In a food processor, blitz together onion and garlic (alternately you can finely chop both), and cook until softened and most of the moisture has evaporated, being careful not to brown. Add heavy cream and thyme and a pinch of salt & pepper, and cook for a few minutes until reduced and thick. Remove from heat.

    For the tomatoes (slices or sauce)

    • 2 pounds roma tomatoes, trimmed and medium sliced lengthwise
    • 4 cloves garlic, peeled and smashed
    • olive oil
    • salt & pepper

    Heat oven to 300°. Toss tomatoes and garlic with generous olive oil, salt and pepper, and spread in a single layer in a couple roasting pans or a couple baking sheets. Cook for 1 1/2 hours. They can be used as is, OR if you want to make a sauce for drawing symbols and such, transfer to a food processor and blend with just enough water to get a thick but squirtable consistency. Transfer to a squirt bottle.

    For the pie

    • One New York-style pizza dough (recipe from Serious Eats)
    • white sauce & tomatoes (above)
    • 4 ounces ricotta
    • 4 ounces mozzarella
    • salt & pepper
    • palmful kalamata olives, sliced
    • palmful basil, small chop
    • palmful feta

    Heat oven to 500°

    Grease a pizza peel, stone, or baking sheet, and gently stretch the dough to a 14 inch round. Top with white sauce.

    Mix ricotta and mozzarella, season with salt and pepper, and spread over the pizza. Add olives, basil, feta, and either the whole tomatoes or draw a pentagram (or heart or happy face, whatever).

    Cook for about 15 minutes (start checking at 12) until golden and bubbly. Allow to cool slightly, slice and serve.

    Bonus: Samantha bopping around the spooky house like an 80s music video!

  • Apple Lemon Energy Bites

    Apple Lemon Energy Bites

    The Descent, a film about a group of adventurous women and their fraught caving expedition, is probably in my Top 5 favorite horror movies of all time, and is surely a modern classic. First of all, it’s scary as hell; the darkness and claustrophobia of spelunking are already terrifying, and that’s before you get to any supernatural elements. But above all else, I think this is one of the most natural depictions of women and their friendships and conflicts of any movie I’ve ever seen, in any genre.

    The women in this movie are legitimate badasses, extremely competent, and physically powerful without their bodies becoming the focus of the male gaze. They are supportive of each other and work together to solve problems, and they falter and argue in a very human way. (The fact that I’m applauding a movie for portraying women as humans is both comforting and upsetting…but let’s be happy about it here).

    The Faculty of Horror podcast has a fantastic episode on The Descent which brilliantly dissects the movie and echoes a lot of my own thoughts. I definitley recommend a listen.

    Sarah is our clear protagonist, who has experienced a loss I don’t know if I personally could come back from. Juno, her closest friend, is more complex. Like Alex from The Faculty of Horror, I’m a Juno apologist; she’s my favorite character in the movie, from her ferocious love of the people close to her to her desperate recklessness to her shutting down when it’s all too overwhelming. Her necklace with the engraving “Love Each Day” is cheesy, yes, but it embodies her; she experiences the world on a pure, raw level.

    For my recipe, I made an energy bite, perfect for whatever adventure we ladies get up to. It’s got dates and flax seeds, nutritionally dense staples that I hear sporty people are into (My actual tweet from when I first watched this movie. Ahem. “This movie’s making me want to be more sporty. [Reclines, sips wine]”). I’m just kidding, I go outside once in awhile. The main thing though is apples, which, come on, apples are the classic symbol of temptation and indulgence, it’s in my damn logo. Before any real trauma, the caving ladies stop for a break; Juno heartily devours an apple and Sarah noticeably declines.

    The other ingredient I included drawn from the film is lemon zest. In a very tense scene, Sarah has a panic attack and Beth (the sweetest, most wonderful character) tells her a very cute joke about a lemon to calm her down. And it’s so good! I tasted the mixture before and after the addition, and the lemon zest both makes the bites delightfully bright and brings out every other flavor. Beth’s joke ftw.

    I refered to Minamalist Baker for a general technique, but as my ingredients are super different and it still worked, I’ve concluded you can pretty much make these to your preference.

    Apple Lemon Energy Bites

    • 3 ounces dates (rehydrate for 10 minutes in warm water and drain if they are super dry, I didn’t need to)
    • 3 ounces dried apple
    • 1 ounce candied ginger
    • zest of one lemon
    • 1/2 cup rolled oats
    • 1 tablespoon flax seeds

    In a food processor, blend dates, apple, and ginger, until the pieces are small and it forms a moist ball. Break up the ball by hand into pieces in food processor, it will help the rest blend. Add lemon zest, oats, and flax seeds.

    Blend to a fairly uniform mixture (will be grainy). Form heaping tablespoons into balls on a plate, then set for 10 minutes in the freezer. Take on your caving expedition.

  • Kuku Kadoo

    Kuku Kadoo

    Under the Shadow is the story of Shideh (Narges Rashidi, brilliant) and her daughter Dorsa who become haunted by a djinn. It’s currently on Netflix, I enjoyed it a lot and suggest checking it out!

    Under the Shadow

    As a 2016 mother-child horror movie, it’s comparable to The Babadook, but whereas Amelia in the Babadook is haunted by her internal grief, the djinn that haunts the collected, ambitious, and modern Shideh seems to compound the ways she’s already being suffocated in her everyday life – ways there are no shortage of in 1980s Iran. Her dreams of becoming a doctor have been crushed, she and her neighbors live almost casually with the daily threat of missiles, and the morality police are more concerned with how she’s scandalously uncovered when she bolts outside in fear than by her and her child’s safety.

    Add to that the folkloric element of the tricky and unnerving djinn, who seems to target Shideh’s deepest insecurities. I cried hot tears as it takes the form of her husband telling her what a horrible mother she is, and almost applauded its pettiness as it destroys the only thing that seems to relieve her frustration: her beloved Jane Fonda workout video. So 80s. So culturally forbidden.

    Shideh doesn’t seem like a character that cares much about cooking, but at one point in the film, she’s seen in the kitchen chopping what looks like zucchini and potato, and then sweeps it into a pot. I took this as opportunity to try kuku kadoo, sort of an Iranian frittata which uses those ingredients. It’s a portable dish that works at all temps, so it’s good to take either to the apartment basement during an attack or as a road snack while on the run from supernatural forces.

    Kuku Kadoo

    Adapted from the defunct Lucky Peach

    • olive oil
    • 12 eggs, lightly beaten
    • 1 pound zucchini, grated and squeezed of moisture
    • 3/4 pounds potatoes, parboiled, cooled, and grated
    • 1 bunch green onions, sliced
    • 2 tablespoons yogurt
    • 2 tablespoons flour
    • 2 teaspoons baking powder
    • 2 teaspoons coarse salt
    • 1 handful parsley, chopped
    • 2 cloves garlic, grated
    • 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
    • black pepper to taste

    Heat oven to 400°. Line a baking pan with parchment and grease with olive oil.

    With a spatula, combine eggs, zucchini, potatoes, green onions, yogurt, flour, baking powder, slat, parsley, garlic, tumeric, and black pepper. Spread into the baking dish an dback for 35 minutes, until top is golden. Check that it’s cooked through by inserting a knife into the center, should come out clean.

    Cool, remove from dish and slice into squares to serve.

  • Roasted Red Pepper and Pomegranate Patatas Bravas

    Roasted Red Pepper and Pomegranate Patatas Bravas

    This month’s Food ‘n Flix movie, hosted by Katharina at Pretty Cake Machine, is both one of my favorite films of all time as well as somewhat eerily timed. Pan’s Labyrinth is a dark, dreamy fairytale layered over a bleak period of fascism. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful, an invitation to retreat into fantasy when the world becomes too cruel, but also a reminder to return to reality and fight for those weaker than us, no matter the cost.

    My dish is a version of the Spanish classic Patatas Bravas, inspired by the potatoes we see the servant Mercedes slicing multiple times in the movie (and the subsequent cleaning of Chekhov’s knife on her skirt). Instead of the traditional tomato sauce, I made a spicy red pepper sauce, as we see red peppers at one point during the film. A small shadow of the fantasy world makes it’s way into the dish with a drizzle of pomegranate molasses from the iconic Pale Man’s feast.

    Roasted Red Pepper and Pomegranate Patatas Bravas

    For the potatoes

    • 1.5 pounds potatoes (I used red), peeled and cut into 1 inch cubes
    • olive oil and sea salt for roasting

    Heat oven to 400° and place potatoes in a single layer on a baking sheet. Toss with olive oil and sea salt and bake for 25-30 minutes, turning every 10, until potatoes are golden and easily pierced with a fork. You can turn off the oven and leave them inside to warm while you finish the sauce. When ready, move to a dish.

    For the spicy red pepper sauce

    • 3 tablespoons olive oil
    • 1 onion, diced
    • 3 cloves garlic, chopped
    • 1 teaspoon salt
    • 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
    • 1 teaspoon ground coriander
    • 1/2 – 1 teaspoon cayenne
    • 1/4 cup slivered or sliced almonds
    • 1/4 cup white wine
    • 1/4 cup water
    • 2 red peppers, roasted (broil, turning, until blackened, cover in a bowl to steam, then peel and deseed)

    Meanwhile, heat olive oil on medium high and saute onion until translucent. Add chopped garlic and saute for a minute or so. Add salt, paprika, ground coriander, cayenne, and almonds, and cook, stirring, until spices are fragrant and almonds are slightly toasted. Add white wine and cook until liquid evaporates. Remove from heat and puree with the water and the red peppers. Return to heat and gently heat through.

    Pour over warm potatoes.

    For the garnish

    • pomegranate molasses (storebought, or made by reducing pomegranate juice to about 1/3 of the beginning volume)
    • mayonnaise
    • chopped parsley

    Drizzle pomegranate molasses and mayonnaise over potatoes, sprinkle with chopped parsley. Serve hot.

    Previous Pan’s Labyrinth-inspired dish: Sugared Grapes

    Also, you can hear me and my cohost Diana discuss Pan’s Labyrinth at length on our podcast, Fiction Kitchen.

  • Jamaican Banana Curry with Shrimp and Coconut Rice

    Jamaican Banana Curry with Shrimp and Coconut Rice

    Live people ignore the strange and unusual. I myself am strange and unusual.

    I’ve enjoyed the 1988 creepy comedy Beetlejuice since I was a kid, and was into the animated series too – so much so that I dressed up as Lydia one Halloween (as a spooky little kid I related to her quite a bit). It was a frightfully fun rewatch, full of snakes, ghosts, and shrimp, not to mention a Winona Ryder fix which I needed after Stranger Things.

    The scene where Recently Deceased Adam and Barbara possess the Deetz’s garish dinner party with the Banana Boat song – culminating in attack of the shrimp cocktail – is pretty delightful. It inspired this Jamaican-style banana curry, with shrimp of course.

    I’ve never met a curry I didn’t love. I consulted this Jamaican Curry Powder recipe for an authentic mix of spices. The result was a haunting balance of sweet, salty and spicy; with some simple coconut rice, it was to die for!

    Jamaican Banana Curry with Shrimp and Coconut Rice

    For the banana and shrimp curry

    • whole spices: 1/2 teaspoon coriander, 1/4 teaspoon each cumin, mustard, and fennel, pinch each fenugreek and allspice
    • 2 tablespoons butter, divided
    • 12 ounces shrimp, peeled and deveined
    • 2 green onions, whites and greens divided and sliced
    • 2 garlic cloves, peeled and grated
    • 1 inch ginger, peeled and grated
    • 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
    • 1/2 teaspoon cayenne (or you can leave out if you’re cooking for kids and add some sriracha later)
    • 2 large bananas, mashed
    • zest of 1 lime
    • 1/2 teaspoon salt
    • 1/4 cup water
    • lime wedges to serve

    On a dry pan, toast the whole spices until fragrant. Grind and set aside.

    In a wok or frying pan, heat the butter on medium high. Cook the shrimp until just pink (about 2 minutes) and remove to a plate.

    Heat another tablespoon butter. Stirring, cook the onions until softened, add the garlic and ginger and cook another minute or so, then add the ground spices plus the turmeric and cayenne if using and cook for another minute. Add the bananas, lime zest, and salt, and cook, stirring, until the mixture is very thick and golden. Add the water and mix well. When it is back up to heat, add the shrimp and cook gently until they are just heated through.

    Serve garnished with green onions, with a lime wedge and coconut rice.

    For the coconut rice

    • 2 cups short-grain rice, washed and soaked for at least 30 minutes
    • 1 cup coconut milk
    • 1 1/4 cups water
    • good pinch salt

    Combine rice, coconut milk, water and salt in a pot and cover. Bring to a rolling boil, then reduce heat to low and cook for 15 minutes. Remove from heat but keep covered, steaming for another 20 minutes.

    If you want a slightly more elaborate side, try this Hara Masala Coconut Rice.

    Beetlejuice fits perfectly into our month of Tim Burton-inspired recipes (see the darkly delicious #Burtoween link-up hosted here on Witchy Kitchen) and is also the movie of the month hosted by Deb at Kahakai Kitchen for Food ‘n Flix!

  • Roasted Tomato Soup with Sherry and Cream

    Roasted Tomato Soup with Sherry and Cream

    You are part of me now, and I cannot let you go. After awhile you will forget what you were, and you will begin to love me as I love you.

    The 1983 film The Hunger is a spooky chic take of a vampire story. The cast is amazing: French goddess Catherine Deneuve, the weird and wonderful David Bowie, and smart, sexy Susan Sarandon.

    hunger-poster

    I watched it after I became aware of the myriad references in American Horror Story. In Hotel, Lady Gaga and the other vampires are heavily influenced by The Hunger, from the ankhs to the slicing vs. biting kill technique to the use of Bahaus’s Bela Legosi’s Dead (which you can find on my ever-growing Spooky Shit Spotify Playlist). There’s a reference in Coven too, with Jessica Lang seeking youth from the scientist who does tests on monkeys, and probably even more that I’m not aware of because apparently Ryan Murphy is a huge fan and goes back to this well.

    I loved the movie for its stylishness, twist on the classic vampire lore, and of course the charismatic actors. The sexy AF aspect of vampires is not new but it’s well used here. It’s also quite enjoyable that in a movie about obsession with youth, the hottest scene is between two women who were in their late 30’s/early 40’s at the time (not old by any means, but ancient by Hollywood standards).

    Deneuve’s Miriam begins her seduction of Sarandan’s Sarah with a glass of sherry (another move echoed by Gaga in AHS), which makes an appearance in this sleek and velvety soup. Garlicky too, not a problem as these aren’t your average vampires. It’s an elegant starter for a dinner that ends in blood.

    Roasted Tomato Soup with Sherry and Cream

    • 1 pound roma tomatoes
    • 1 head garlic
    • olive oil
    • salt & pepper
    • 1/4 cup sherry
    • 4 cup chicken broth
    • 1/2 cup heavy cream
    • basil chiffonade for garnish

    Heat oven to 300° and line two baking sheets with parchment. Slice tomatoes to medium thickness, toss with olive oil, season with salt and pepper, and lay on baking sheets in a single layer. Meanwhile, slice top off the head of garlic, wrap in foil, and drizzle with olive oil.

    Bake tomatoes and garlic, flipping tomatoes after 30 minutes, then again after another 30 minutes. Bake a final 30 minutes (1 1/2 hours total) until nice and roasty, checking that they don’t burn. Allow the roasted garlic to cool enough to handle, and squeeze out the cloves.

    Put tomatoes and garlic in a soup pot with the sherry, and cook until sherry is reduced. Add half the chicken broth, mix well, and cook for 20 minutes. Cool slightly and puree in a blender. Return to the soup pot (optional, for vampire-worthy soup do it through a mesh strainer), add the rest of the chicken broth and heat through. Check seasoning and add more salt if necessary. Add heavy cream and just heat through, serve hot garnished with basil.

  • Swedish Cinnamon Rolls

    Swedish Cinnamon Rolls

    I saw and loved the Swedish vampire film Let the Right One In for the first time around the time it came out in 2008, but just recently read the book by John Ajvide Lindqvist. These are the August picks for Coffee and Casseroles’ Night Bleeds Book and Movie Club!

    The movie is very good, but as is to be expected, the book adds layers to Eli and Oskar, both to their characters (Oskar is even more of a little shit in the book and Eli even more beautifully tragic) and to their dark friendship. There’s also interesting story around Virginia and Jocke; their plot points are hit in the movie, but there is a lot of detail in the book that is either very sweet or sickly fascinating.

    the-dark-friendship-of-oskar-and-eli-in-let-the-right-one-in-472549

    In the book, Oskar’s mom is a single parent, lonely, relishing his misery and becoming resentful when he makes a friend. Often in the evenings they watch television together and have cinnamon rolls and hot chocolate, a ritual he falls out of when he starts spending more time with Eli. Although in the book these are the Cinnamon Rolls of Gross Codependency, in life these cinnamon rolls are delicious.

    Swedish cinnamon rolls aren’t much different than American style, the key enhancement being lovely, fragrant cardamom in the dough – a favorite spice of Scandinavians dating back to 860AD when the Vikings ravaged Constantinople! Heating milk with vanilla bean and cardamom on the stove made the kitchen smell heavenly.

    I adapted Marcus Samuelsson’s recipe — and when I say adapted, I mean I used whole cardamom instead of ground because that’s what I had, and I rolled them out to the wrong length and width because oops — but will actually make a few more tweaks when I make them again (which I will because they were delicious). The dough was actually a little stiffer than it was meant to be even though I added the least amount of flour, and the cinnamon mixture was way too thin and seeped out of the dough, so next time I’ll make it thicker. These kind of differences I usually chalk up to atmosphere or personal incompetence or whatever, so I’ll give you recommendations for humid American South, but you may also wish to check out the original recipe.

    Swedish Cinnamon Rolls

    Adapted from Marcus Samuelsson

    For the dough

    • 1 package yeast
    • 2 tablespoons warm water
    • 1 teaspoon sugar
    • 1 cup whole milk
    • 6 tablespoons butter
    • 10 cardamom pods, cracked
    • 1 vanilla pod, halved and scraped (substitute 2 teaspoons vanilla extract)
    • 1 egg plus 1 yolk (reserve extra egg white)
    • 1/3 cup sugar
    • 1/2 teaspoon salt
    • 3 1/2 – 5 cups flour
    • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil

    For the filling

    • 1/2 cup butter, softened
    • 1/2 cup brown sugar
    • 1/2 cup sugar
    • 2-4 tablespoons warm or hot milk (original calls for 4, mine was too watery)
    • 3 teaspoons cinnamon

    For the topping

    • Reserved egg white
    • 1/4 cup toasted almonds

    In a small bowl, mix yeast, warm water, and sugar. Set aside until foamy, about 5 minutes.

    Gently heat milk, butter, cardamom pods, and vanilla bean until very warm but not hot. Remove from heat and allow to steep until cool. Strain, and add to the yeast mixture. Whisk egg, egg yolk, sugar and salt until well combined, stir into yeast mixture.

    Add flour until a slightly wet dough forms, and roll it into a ball. Grease a clean bowl with the vegetable oil, and turn the dough ball in it until coated. Cover with plastic wrap and set aside for 2 hours.

    Combine the filling ingredients (butter, brown sugar, sugar, warm milk and cinnamon). Prepare two baking sheets with buttered parchment.

    Divide the dough into two equal parts, and on a floured counter roll into 12 x 9 inch rectangles. Spread with the filling mixture and roll length-wise. Slice into 6 slices and place on baking sheets, slightly flattening with your palm (next time I’ll tuck in the ends to make them a little prettier). Cover and let rise 30 minutes.

    Whisk together egg white with a couple tablespoons water and brush over the rolls. Sprinkle with toasted almonds. Bake at 350° for 15-20 minutes until golden brown. Cool on a rack.

    Serve in front of the TV with guilt and hot chocolate.

    Both The Girls in the Back Row and The Rants Macabre have a great podcast episodes on the film, I recommend a listen!

  • Upside Down Eggos

    Upside Down Eggos

    Like most everyone else, I got completely swept up in Netflix’s Stranger Things – spooky shit painted with a layer of nostalgia? Yes please. I love the look and feel of the show, and on the homage vs. ripping-off debate, I am firmly in the former camp. The show stands on its own without all the references, but picking out the elements taken and remixed from all the 80s movies we loved is super fun! (Especially ET, one of my favorites as a kid, and The Thing which I saw for the first time just a few weeks ago). And yesssss, hit me with that sweet synth soundtrack.

    (Don’t worry, this will be spoiler free, either just general thoughts on the show, or just plot points from the first episode.)

    Winona Ryder as the frazzled single mother desperately trying to find her kid is fantastic, but my favorite performance is little Millie Bobby Brown as Eleven. Child actors are usually not great, but she beautifully conveys the fragile fear of a child, the strength of having strange powers, and the sweetness of making a new friend, all with limited dialog. She also loves Eggo waffles, which is both funny and sad as this mundane pleasure means so much to her after a life of being hooked up to wires and floating in isolation tanks.

    alb-eleven

    I love this beautiful watercolor by ALB

    Another thing I love about the show is the look of the Upside Down – the world that is a shadow of ours – darker, colder, scarier. The design is simple, but effective; it’s very dark, with these spooky snowflake particles swimming through the air, and everything is coated with this seaweedy, fungal slimy mesh.

    When brainstorming something to make, I thought about how Eleven’s beloved Eggos would appear in the Upside Down. Darker of course (these waffles are chocolate maple), and layered with my amateur attempt at maple spun sugar – it’s not the beautiful wisps of a professional, I purposely let it get lumpy and veiny and more Demagorgony!

    Upside Down Eggos

    For the waffles
    Adapted from Maple Chocolate Cake on Epicurious

    • 3/4 cup cake flour (all purpose flour is fine)
    • 5 tablespoons cocoa powder
    • 3/4 teaspoons baking soda
    • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
    • 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
    • 1/2 pure maple syrup
    • 1/2 cup Greek yogurt
    • 1 egg
    • 1/2 cup canola oil
    • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
    • 2 tablespoons melted butter
    • upside down spun sugar mesh (see below)
    • sweetened coconut flakes for garnish

    Heat waffle iron (if you don’t have a waffle iron, you can easily make these as pancakes).

    In one mixing bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and sea salt. In another, whisk together maple syrup, Greek yogurt, egg, canola oil, and vanilla extract. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir until combined.

    Cook according to waffle iron instructions, and brush the tops with melted butter.

    For the gnarly spun sugar mesh
    Adapted from Food Network

    • 1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
    • 1/4 cup maple syrup
    • 1/4 cup water

    Spread a sheet of baking parchment on the counter, and have a mixing bowl half filled with water and a fork handy.

    In a saucepan on medium high heat, heat the mixture, swirling only and not stirring (mine did get a little grainy as you can see in the picture, although it started off nice and clear), until it is 300° on a candy thermometer.

    Cool the saucepan by dipping it in the water bath until the mixture is 275° Dip the fork tines in the mixture, and quickly wave it back and forth (both vertically and horizontally) over the wax paper. Let it get a little lumpy to look more Upside Down-like. When it cools, gently lift from the paper (I used a metal spatula) and gently place pieces over your waffles.

    You can sprinkle a few coconut flakes for that artifact effect.

  • Frankenweenies

    Frankenweenies

    Frankenweenie is one of those spooky Tim Burton stop motion animation features that I adore. The story is simple and sweet, a young Victor Frankenstein who uses Science! to bring his beloved dog Sparky back from an untimely end. It’s stylishly black and white, and draws heavily from vintage monster movies.

    It takes place in the charming town of New Holland, where each of the school children are hilariously creepy in their own way – my favorite is the weird blond girl who has a pretty Victorian bedroom and makes divinations from her cat’s litter box (“you’ll dream of me one day, won’t you kitty??”)

    There’s a good bit of food in the movie, including Mr. Frankenstein using fondue to make a point about compromise – aka no one getting what they want – and Mrs. Frankenstein has a classic housewife thing going and spends a lot of time in the kitchen making waffles and cookies and other homey foods. There’s even an actual recipe from a cookbook for Double Dutch Cherry Cupcakes (the town’s Dutch Day Festival is a fall carnival) which of course I’ll try at some point. There’s some good carnival food too that proves useful – salty popcorn is surprisingly effective for defeating reanimated sea monkeys.

    What made me really fall in love with it was the ending. (Beware, spoilers for Frankenweenie). Whereas I thought it was going to be a bland story of dealing with loss, instead the message is about using all your power to hold on to what you love. Maybe not the healthier of the two messages? But definitely the more interesting.

    For this recipe I cobbled together a few ingredients, electrified it with some savory seasonings, and served it up hotdog style – it’s aliiiive!

    Frankenweenies

    • 1 pound ground beef
    • 1 pound ground chicken
    • 2 slices bread
    • 2 tablespoons melted butter
    • 4 cloves garlic, grated
    • 1 Granny Smith apple, peeled and finely chopped
    • good palmful sage, finely chopped
    • 2 teaspoons salt (and an extra pinch)
    • fresh cracked pepper
    • oil for frying

    Blitz the bread into soft crumbs in a food processor. In a large bowl, combine breadcrumbs, melted butter, garlic, apple, sage, salt and pepper. Add beef and chicken and mix well.

    In a frying pan, heat a small amount of oil. Shape the meat mixture into long sausage shapes and fry in batches, rolling to brown on all sides, adding more oil as necessary. Drain on a paper towel.

    Serve on potato hotdog buns with lots of dijon mustard!

    I’ve been listening to a lot of Bloody Good Horror podcasts lately; they did NOT like this movie. It’s worth a listen though, because what they say about it is not wrong – they dislike the super dry humor, the too dark imagery, and the muddied end message. I liked it for all the reasons they didn’t; at one point they ask, “who is this movie for??” to which I answer “for me!” It’s not going to be everyone’s dog biscuit, but it hits all the quadrants (spooky, stylish, quirky and sweet) of the things I love.