Witchy Kitchen

Tag: apple

  • Three Course Witchy Menu

    Three Course Witchy Menu

    Put on your aprons and fire up your cauldrons, because this month’s edition of Witchy Kitchen is going full witch with an enchanting three-course menu, so mote it be.

    For our first course, we are drawing inspiration from 2015’s The Witch, which has already become a modern classic. Written and directed by Robert Eggers and featuring a lovely and innocent performance from Anya Taylor-Joy as Thomasin, the film is meticulously authentic to colonial times so a colonial-inspired dish seemed apt. These biscuits are rustic, with apples that feature prominently in the film. Bonus, if you want to get extra witchy they double as altar cakes. Would you like the taste of butter? Would you like to live deliciously? Then whip up the accompanying goat cheese butter to serve.

    The Witch Apple Cheddar Biscuits with Goat Cheese Butter

    For the biscuits
    5 tablespoons butter, divided (freeze and grate 4 tablespoons, reserve 1 for cooking)
    1 1/2 cups flour
    1 1/2 tablespoons sugar
    2 teaspoons baking powder
    1/2 teaspoon salt
    1/4 teaspoon black pepper
    4 ounces sharp cheddar cheese, grated
    1/2 a large Granny Smith apple, grated
    2 tablespoons chopped chives
    1/2 cup milk
    1 egg, beaten

    Heat oven to 400º. Meanwhile heat 1 tablespoon butter in a cast-iron skillet on medium heat, swirling to coat. In a large bowl combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, pepper, cheddar cheese, apple, chives, and butter. Combine milk and egg and add to the flour mixture, stirring until just combined (don’t overmix). In the skillet, drop 8 even sized dollops of the mixture, forming them into rounds and pushing down slightly to biscuit shapes. Cook on the stovetop for 5 minutes, then transfer to the oven for 18-20 minutes to cook until golden.

    For the goat cheese butter
    4 ounces goat cheese, room temperature
    4 ounces butter, room temperature
    2 tablespoons honey
    pinch salt

    Whip together and serve with biscuits.

    Our main course is inspired by the 1960 gothic horror directed by Mario Bava, Black Sunday. It takes place in Romania, which may very well be the witchiest place on earth. Barbara Steele plays both the doomed witch Princess Asa as well as her descendent Katia, who the witch comes back to drain of her youth and beauty in hopes of immortality. This is a Romanian dish called ciorba de perisoare, a meatball soup that is as sour as revenge. It’s also full of herbs perfect for youth and beauty spells, reciting incantations as you sprinkle them in is encouraged.

    Black Sunday Romanian Sour Soup

    For the meatballs
    8 ounces ground chicken
    3/4 teaspoon salt
    few grinds black pepper
    1/2 an onion, grated
    1/4 cup cooked rice
    1 egg
    1/2 cup breadcrumbs

    Thoroughly combine all ingredients and shape into 1-inch meatballs. Reserve in the fridge until time to cook.

    For the soup
    3 tablespoons olive oil
    1/2 an onion, finely chopped
    1 red pepper, finely chopped
    2 ribs celery, finely chopped
    2 carrots, finely chopped
    3 tablespoons tomato paste
    1 tablespoon paprika
    6 cups chicken broth
    2 tablespoons parsley, chopped
    2 tablespoons lovage, chopped (optional if you have trouble finding it)
    2 tablespoons lemon juice

    In a large pot heat olive oil on medium heat and cook onion, red pepper, celery, and carrots, stirring often, until onion is very soft and translucent. Stir in tomato paste and paprika and cook, stirring, until tomato paste is starting to caramelize. Add chicken broth and bring to a boil. Drop in the prepared meatballs, lower heat, and simmer for 15-20 minutes until cooked through. Add parsley, lovage, and lemon juice and cook 5 minutes more. Serve hot.

    The 90s were a wicked time for witch movies, so dessert is inspired by 1998’s Practical Magic. Directed by Giffin Dunne and starring Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman as witchy sisters, there is a fabulous scene featuring midnight margaritas. The batty aunties conjure up a batch, and a delightful dance-around-the-kitchen party gradually descends into an entranced madness. These flourless chocolate cupcakes (adapted from a recipe from Smitten Kitchen) are kissed with lime and as dark as midnight, and the lovely floaty margarita cream is hypnotic, the perfect end to a bewitching meal.

    For the margarita whipped cream
    1/4 cup powdered sugar
    1 teaspoon lime zest
    2 teaspoons tequila
    2 teaspoons cointreau
    1/2 cup heavy cream

    Stir together sugar, lime zest, tequila and cointreau. Add heavy cream and whip to a soft but firm consistency. Dollop onto cupcakes.

    Set your table, light your candles, and enjoy a witchy meal.

    First published on Nightmare on Film Street.

  • Emergency Sausage Rolls

    Emergency Sausage Rolls

    Have you ever been so busy torturing your husband with a glue gun that you just didn’t have time to prepare your dish for the neighborhood potluck? Well in such an occasion these are great to have in the freezer. (I didn’t actually try freezing these, but I bet they’d do ok).

    These savory homemade sausages are fragrant and sweet from the fall flavors of apple, caramelized onion, sage and warm spices, and are wrapped in puff pastry, the harried housewife’s best friend. They’re fantastic with mustard, and were a hit with our household if you don’t count the two year old who thinks he’s a fruitarian.


    Illustration by Helene. Also, I am such an Alison.

    Emergency Sausage Rolls

    Makes 40 rolls. You can easily half this recipe, or do what I did and make 20 rolls and just eat the leftover sausages by themselves for breakfasts

    • 1 pound ground beef (pork or lamb would also work)
      2-3 tablespoons flavorless oil, plus more for frying
    • 1 large onion, chopped
    • 2 cloves garlic, grated
    • 1/2 Granny Smith apple, peeled and finely chopped
    • 1 teaspoon garam masala, or mixture of spices such as cinnamon, cloves, allspice, cumin, black pepper, etc.
    • 1 packed tablespoon sage, finely chopped
    • 1 1/2 pieces bread, well toasted and crumbled into breadcrumbs
    • salt to taste, I used a teaspoon and then another good pinch
    • 4 sheets puff pastry, partially thawed
      small amount flour for rolling
    • 3-4 egg yolks, beaten
    • kalonji/nigella/onion/black seeds or sesame seeds for sprinkling

    Heat oil on medium high and fry onion until it is well caramelized completely golden, being careful not to burn. In a medium bowl, combine onion, garlic, apple, garam masala, sage, breadcrumbs and salt, then combine the mixture with the beef.

    Heat a small amount of oil on medium high. Take palmfuls of the meat, roll and shaped into long sausage shapes. Fry in batches, rolling over after a minute or two, until they are browned on all sides and cooked through. Drain on a paper towel-lined plate.

    At this point, preheat oven to 350°

    On a floured board or counter, roll out the puff pastry. Slice each sheet lengthwise. In each half, line sausages down the length of it and roll it all up, placing on a cutting board seam-side down. Brush with egg yolk, sprinkle with seeds, and cut into 1 1/2 inch rolls (about 5 small rolls from the long roll). Place on prepared baking sheets about an inch apart and bake for 25 minutes until golden brown.

    Serve warm with mustard.

    Recipe for Fiction Kitchen Episode 16: Orphan Black in which Diana and Carrie discuss amazingly talented Tatiana Maslany, emergency freezer food, powdered donuts, seestra babka, sardines, GMO’s and which clone are you?