Witchy Kitchen

Tag: chocolate

  • A Horror Cocktail Menu for the Creepiest Christmas Party

    A Horror Cocktail Menu for the Creepiest Christmas Party

    It’s the Christmas season, and our days are merry and bright…but our nights are cold and dark, and there’s enough Christmas horror that the holiday can almost be a second Halloween. If you like a little creepy in your Christmas, here’s a festive and simple cocktail menu inspired by seasonal horror films. These recipes are enough for a small gathering but can easily be doubled to share with all your fiends and family.

    First up, drinks! I have a special place in my little black heart for 1984’s Gremlins, as it was the first horror movie I ever saw as a child. The Christmastime creature-feature gave me nightmares, and it was years before I realized that it is actually very funny and not the most terrifying movie ever made. That’s not to say it’s not terrifying; imagine being attacked by manic murderous cackling gremlins in your own kitchen. If you remember that scene, you’ll know why this is a green drink made in a blender! It’s green tea and bourbon sweetened by a Chinese five spice simple syrup that evokes the Chinatown antique shop that little mogwai Gizmo came from and bonus, it smells like Christmas. Just don’t serve your guests after midnight.

    Spiced Gremlin (Cocktail)

    • 2 cups strong green tea
    • 1/2 cup sugar
    • 1/2 cup water
    • 1 teaspoon Chinese five spice powder
    • 1/2 cup bourbon
    • green food coloring
    • green maraschino cherries for garnish
    Freeze the green tea in ice cube trays. To make the simple syrup (you’ll end up with extra, but you can use it for other cocktails or tea), heat sugar and water in a small sauce pan on medium high, not stirring, until the sugar is completely melted. Remove from heat and stir in the Chinese five spice powder. Cool completely. Combine green tea, 1/4 cup of the spiced simple syrup, bourbon, and several drops of green food coloring. Blend and serve, garnished with green maraschino cherries.

    Next up is a savory snack. 2015’s Krampus is the story of a dysfunctional family holiday gathering turned dark by the demon from European folklore, and though a fairly recent film, is already a modern Christmas horror classic. There are some great food scenes, whether a tracking shot through the kitchen of the German grandmother’s copious Christmas baking, or the epic gingerbread battle. This appetizer comes from the dinner – every black humor family film needs a dinner scene – that the mom, Sarah (Toni Collette) has prepared. If you’re a fancy fussy host like Sarah and would take comments like “It looks like Martha Stewart threw up in here” as a compliment, but don’t have a week to cure gravlax, then these smoked salmon toasts with lemon dill sour cream, pickled red onion, and crispy capers are perfect. If you’re less fussy, just go with macaroni and cheese and hotdogs.

    Krampus Smoked Salmon Toasts

    • 1 small red onion, thinly sliced
    • red wine vinegar
    • 12 ounces pumpernickel bread, the little party size or else sliced into 2 inch squares
    • 1/2 cup sour cream
    • zest of one lemon
    • 4 sprigs dill, finely chopped
    • 1 tablespoon capers
    • olive oil
    • 4 ounces smoked salmon, sliced
    Combine red onion and enough red wine vinegar to cover and set aside for at least an hour. Heat the oven to 350° and place bread slices in a single layer on baking sheets. Brush with olive oil and bake for 15 minutes until toasty. Cool. Stir together sour cream, lemon, and dill. In a small frying pan, heat a tablespoon or so of olive oil and fry capers until just turning golden, and drain on a paper towel. Assemble the toasts: smear each square of pumpernickel with a spoonful of the sour cream mixture, top with a curled slice of smoked salmon, and garnish with a couple of slices of red onion and a sprinkle of crispy capers.

    Finally we’re going sweeter, and a lot darker, with this treat inspired by the 1974 slasher Black Christmas. As one of the very first slasher films, it follows a deranged killer stalking a group of sorority girls, and is so creepy and unsettling that you’ll definitely need to stress-eat chocolate after viewing. So for that, we have these lovely truffles that are a bite-sized version of traditional English Christmas pudding. They are made from crumbled fruit cake, and are a little boozy, drizzled in dark chocolate and decorated with pretty green pistachios and dried cranberries.

    Black Christmas Pudding Truffles

    • 1 pound store-bought fruit cake
    • 3 ounces dark chocolate chips, divided
    • 2 tablespoons sherry, brandy, or rum
    • 1 1/2 cups dark chocolate chips, divided
    • chopped pistachios and dried cranberries for garnish
    Break the fruit cake into pieces into a food processor, and pulse a few times. Microwave 1/2 cup of the dark chocolate chips in 30 second increments, stirring in between, until completely melted. Add to the food processor along with the sherry, brandy, or rum, and combine, but don’t over mix. On a parchment-lined baking sheet, roll heaping teaspoons of the fruit cake mixture into balls. The mixture will be very sticky, so to make this easier, every few balls coat your hands in a thin layer of vegetable oil, and don’t worry too much about the shape at this point as you’ll be able to correct it later. Put the baking sheet in the fridge for 30 minutes to set. Once set, you can roll the balls again to get them rounder. Heat the remaining cup of dark chocolate chips in 30 second increments, stirring, until melted. Put the melted chocolate in a piping bag or ziploc with the corner cut off, and pipe over the balls. Garnish with pistachios and cranberries.

    Merry Christmas!

    First published on Nightmare on Film Street.

  • Chocolate Meringues with Chantilly Cream

    Chocolate Meringues with Chantilly Cream

    Joanne Harris’s 1999 novel Chocolat is the story of Vianne Rocher, who comes with her small daughter Anouk to French village of Lansquenet-sous-Tannes to open a chocolate shop right at the beginning of Lent. The book is rich, and sweet, and deliciously full of witchcraft, my favorite instance of which is Vianne actually scrying in melted chocolate!

    Delectable food descriptions are woven throughout the book, and it’s obvious the author has a love of food. She even has a cookbook, cowritten with Fran Warde: My French Kitchen: A Book of 120 Treasured Recipes, which I snapped up shortly after reading the novel, and these meringues come right from its pages.



    Illustration by Morgann Daniels

    Meringues are light, fluffy…almost like the farts of an angel. No really! “Pets d’ange” is what the French call them – although doesn’t it sounds prettier in French? Vianne and Josephine share some in Chocolat at the counter of La Celeste Praline chocolate shop, but they are extremely simple to make at home, just 3 ingredients.

    Chocolate Meringues with Chantilly Cream

    From My French Kitchen: A Book of 120 Treasured Recipes by Joanne Harris and Fran Warde

    For the meringues

    • 3 egg whites
    • 3/4 cup powdered sugar
    • 1/4 cup cocoa

    Heat oven to 275° and line a baking sheet with wax paper.

    Whip the egg whites until soft peaks form, then add sugar and whip until stiff peaks form. Gently fold in the cocoa with a spatula. Using 2 spoons, make 12 dollops evenly spaced on the baking sheet, and bake for 2 hours. Turn the oven off and leave for another 12.

    For the Chantilly cream

    • 1 1/4 cups whipping cream
    • 1/4 cup powdered sugar
    • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla

    Whip ingredients together until soft peaks form. Serve dolloped on meringues, or make sandwiches.

    Recipe for Fiction Kitchen Episode 18: Chocolat in which Carrie and Diana discuss Joanne Harris’s novel Chocolat (which Carrie gobbled and Diana savored) as well as the 2000 movie – including witchcraft, the dark side of religion, fasting and feasting, a little history and lots and lots of chocolate.

    For another Chocolat-inspired recipe, nibble on these old-fashioned Rose Creams.

  • Walnut Brownie Altar Cakes

    Walnut Brownie Altar Cakes

    2018 supernatural horror film Hereditary, directed by Ari Aster and featuring Toni Collette, Milly Shapiro and Alex Wolfe, began by lulling me into the typical horror formula (I’ve seen a few ghost movies, ok?) and then took a gut-wrenching turn that shocked me to tears and left my body a twisted lump of tension for the rest of the film. The haunting performances, droning soundscape, unsettling dollhouse motif, and masterful building of absolute dread, all wrapped up in an uncomfortable family drama, is far and away the most horrific thing I’ve seen this year.

    Very light spoilers ahead…this recipe is tied into the plot of course but I won’t say too much…

    For most of this ghastly torture of a movie I was thinking there was no way I could do something as frivolous as a recipe, but then the third act turns so wacky and has an such an interesting thread of mythology that I was back in. The 13-year-old daughter Charlie, has a love of chocolate and a well-established nut allergy, so of course I wanted to include those in my recipe. It was the demon king Paimon though that inspired me to make these as altar cakes, smeared with ganache, a dark offering to his hellish excellency. His intricate sigil appears over and over in the film, so these are so marked with walnut buttercream. Hail Paimon! (Please accept these and stay away).

    Walnut Brownie Altar Cakes

    For the brownie cakes:
    Adapted from Taste of Home

    • 12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
    • 1 cup butter (2 sticks)
    • 1 1/3 cups sugar
    • 4 eggs
    • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
    • 1 cup flour
    • 1 cup chopped walnuts

    Heat oven to 350°

    Melt the chocolate chips and butter together in the microwave, stir until smooth and allow to cool. Meanwhile, beat together sugar and eggs and stir in vanilla and the chocolate mixture. Mix in flour until just combined and stir in walnuts.

    Pour into lined muffin cups and bake for 20-25 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool, remove from liners, trim the tops flat if necessary and flip upside down to decorate.

    For the ganache

    • 1/2 cup heavy cream
    • 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips

    Bring heavy cream to a boil and pour over chocolate chips, stir until smooth. Cool to room temp. Smear over tops of the cakes.

    For the walnut buttercream

    • 1 cup powdered sugar
    • 1/2 stick softened butter
    • 1 ounce walnuts
    • 1+ teaspoon milk

    Combine well all ingredients in a food processor. Transfer to a piping bag and scribble hell king sigils on your altar cakes. Offer and wait.

    Recipe for Fiction Kitchen Episode 60: VOLTRON & HEREDITARY in which Diana and Carrie discuss discuss robots in space and terrifying family dramas! Food goo, garlic knots, cake roll pops, Checkov’s walnut allergy and uncomfortable family dinners.

  • Pumpkin Mocha Breve

    Pumpkin Mocha Breve

    You were the sun, and I was crashing into you.

    Rainbow Rowell’s Carry On is one of the most refreshing pieces of fiction I’ve read in the last few years. A moving, magical and intensely quotable twist on Harry Potter, it follows Simon, Baz, Penelope, and Agatha at their wizarding school and plays on the theme of the chosen one and destiny. Though often sharp and very funny, it’s much sweeter though than a satire, and explores its characters in a very real way. Not least, it’s a beautiful and exciting LGBT romance, the Harry and Draco fanfic we didn’t know we needed.

    Pumpkin Mocha Breve appears in both Carry On and related novel (also excellent) Fangirl. Who invented this crazy indulgent melted candy bar concoction? Was it Baz? Was it Levi? Either way, it’s delightful. You can make it as is or add a little bit of spices such as cinnamon or cardamom.

    Pumpkin Mocha Breve

    • 1 tablespoon espresso
    • 1 tablespoon cocoa
    • 1 tablespoon pumpkin puree
    • pinch ground spices, such as cinnamon or cardamom, optional
    • 1/4 cup water
    • 1 cup half and half
    • sugar to taste (a teaspoon or two)

    In a French press, combine espresso, cocoa and pumpkin puree and spices if using (if you don’t have a French press, you can just do this in a mug and later pour it through a strainer). Heat the water to a boil and stir into mixture. Set aside.

    In a small sauce pan, heat half and half just just below a boil. While it’s heating, you can froth it by lifting and pouring ladlefuls. When it’s hot and frothy, add sugar and the strained espresso mixture. Pour into a cozy mug and enjoy.

    More Carry On recipes?

    There are so many lovely food descriptions in the book! Fiction Food Café has an abundance, including Sour Cherry Scones and Bacon Cinnamon Buns.

    Excitingly, @RainbowRowell announce the sequel Wayward Son coming in 2020!

    Recipe for Fiction Kitchen Episode 34: CARRY ON in which Carrie and Diana discuss (squee over) the YA meta fanfiction novel by Rainbow Rowell – mint Aero bars, sour cherry scones, pink gingerbread ladies, more Yorkshire pudding and roast beef, bacon and cinnamon rolls, sage, intensity and brownies, pumpkin mocha breve, and on and on.

  • Upside Down Eggos

    Upside Down Eggos

    Like most everyone else, I got completely swept up in Netflix’s Stranger Things – spooky shit painted with a layer of nostalgia? Yes please. I love the look and feel of the show, and on the homage vs. ripping-off debate, I am firmly in the former camp. The show stands on its own without all the references, but picking out the elements taken and remixed from all the 80s movies we loved is super fun! (Especially ET, one of my favorites as a kid, and The Thing which I saw for the first time just a few weeks ago). And yesssss, hit me with that sweet synth soundtrack.

    (Don’t worry, this will be spoiler free, either just general thoughts on the show, or just plot points from the first episode.)

    Winona Ryder as the frazzled single mother desperately trying to find her kid is fantastic, but my favorite performance is little Millie Bobby Brown as Eleven. Child actors are usually not great, but she beautifully conveys the fragile fear of a child, the strength of having strange powers, and the sweetness of making a new friend, all with limited dialog. She also loves Eggo waffles, which is both funny and sad as this mundane pleasure means so much to her after a life of being hooked up to wires and floating in isolation tanks.

    alb-eleven

    I love this beautiful watercolor by ALB

    Another thing I love about the show is the look of the Upside Down – the world that is a shadow of ours – darker, colder, scarier. The design is simple, but effective; it’s very dark, with these spooky snowflake particles swimming through the air, and everything is coated with this seaweedy, fungal slimy mesh.

    When brainstorming something to make, I thought about how Eleven’s beloved Eggos would appear in the Upside Down. Darker of course (these waffles are chocolate maple), and layered with my amateur attempt at maple spun sugar – it’s not the beautiful wisps of a professional, I purposely let it get lumpy and veiny and more Demagorgony!

    Upside Down Eggos

    For the waffles
    Adapted from Maple Chocolate Cake on Epicurious

    • 3/4 cup cake flour (all purpose flour is fine)
    • 5 tablespoons cocoa powder
    • 3/4 teaspoons baking soda
    • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
    • 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
    • 1/2 pure maple syrup
    • 1/2 cup Greek yogurt
    • 1 egg
    • 1/2 cup canola oil
    • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
    • 2 tablespoons melted butter
    • upside down spun sugar mesh (see below)
    • sweetened coconut flakes for garnish

    Heat waffle iron (if you don’t have a waffle iron, you can easily make these as pancakes).

    In one mixing bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and sea salt. In another, whisk together maple syrup, Greek yogurt, egg, canola oil, and vanilla extract. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir until combined.

    Cook according to waffle iron instructions, and brush the tops with melted butter.

    For the gnarly spun sugar mesh
    Adapted from Food Network

    • 1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
    • 1/4 cup maple syrup
    • 1/4 cup water

    Spread a sheet of baking parchment on the counter, and have a mixing bowl half filled with water and a fork handy.

    In a saucepan on medium high heat, heat the mixture, swirling only and not stirring (mine did get a little grainy as you can see in the picture, although it started off nice and clear), until it is 300° on a candy thermometer.

    Cool the saucepan by dipping it in the water bath until the mixture is 275° Dip the fork tines in the mixture, and quickly wave it back and forth (both vertically and horizontally) over the wax paper. Let it get a little lumpy to look more Upside Down-like. When it cools, gently lift from the paper (I used a metal spatula) and gently place pieces over your waffles.

    You can sprinkle a few coconut flakes for that artifact effect.

  • Rose Creams

    Rose Creams

    Eid is right around the corner! This has been a lovely and peaceful Ramadan. Every year I celebrate it, along with family and friends, but also in my own way, choosing some piece of personal improvement to work on for the month. This year however, I chose to do what everyone else does, which is to think nice thoughts, act with generosity and kindness…and fast.

    I only fasted the first ten days. “That’s not very much!” I was told. Um, true, but afterwards I just couldn’t keep up. I have major respect for those of you with the devotion to fast while still maintaining your responsibilities – it’s absolutely not easy, and not for the faint-hearted!

    These ten days weren’t lost on me. The first few were frustrating, I had difficulty focusing at work and difficulty keeping up with housework and kids. However, this really did force me to prioritize what is important in my life. At work I started clearing the clutter (goodbye podcasts, goodbye Twitter, I’ll miss you) and setting lots of minitasks for myself that were completely manageable, less daunting. At home I slowed down on pretty much everything but spending time with my kids. If the house isn’t perfectly clean, if an elaborate meal isn’t cooked, if my blog is neglected, if I take a break from yoga, none of that matters that much. Fasting cleared my vision and showed me what was truly important in my life.

    During this time I coincidentally was reading a marvelous book for our Fiction Kitchen podcast, Chocolat (the book is SO much better than the movie by the way) about a woman who opens a chocolaterie during Lent. There are so many parallels between Lent and Ramadan, so it felt interesting reading this at the same time. We talk about it on the episode.

    So of course I had chocolate on my mind when thinking of a recipe for Eid Eats, which I was delighted to see Sarah from Flour & Spice, Asiya from Chocolate & Chilis and Henna from My Ninja Naan were organizing again this year! I participated last year and have enjoyed interacting with these ladies over the course of the year – including cooking their delicious recipes!

    In the book Chocolat, the main character Vianne has a knack for guessing everyone’s favorites, and I imagined if she guessed mine it would be something floral – I have a mild rosewater obsession, am intrigued by edible flowers, and love floral notes in all kinds of foods, from drinks to sweets to biryanis. These rose creams are an old-fashioned sweet, but made with Rooh Afza, the Pakistani rose syrup that we’ve been making into a refreshing drink almost every night this Ramadan. It seemed fitting to end the month on a sweet rosy note.

    I attempted to follow this recipe from The Daily Mail, but it appears making fondant in cool, crisp England may be different than in the sticky, humid American South, so these are the instructions that ended up working for me.

    Rose Creams

    • 3 tablespoons each heavy cream and Rooh Afza syrup. Next time I might tweak this to 4 tablespoons cream, 2 Rooh Afza
    • 10+ ounces powdered sugar
    • 12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
    • 2 teaspoons peanut oil

    In a medium bowl, whisk together heavy cream and Rooh Afza syrup. Sift 10 ounces of powdered sugar and stir into the liquid until thoroughly combined. Add more sugar by the tablespoon until the mixture is very thick and starting to come together as a ball (although the Daily Mail wants you to be able to knead this on the counter, mine wasn’t anywhere close to that and wasn’t getting there even after 6 tablespoons, so I stopped there. Things worked out ok).

    Cover with plastic wrap and put in the fridge for at least an hour and up to overnight.

    Use the mixture to make 1/2 tablespoon-sized balls, which you can flatten slightly into disks, then place them in two batches on powdered sugar-dusted plates. Make sure the mixture stays cool so it doesn’t get too sticky, and coat your hands well with powdered sugar to make rolling them more manageable. Place in the fridge while you prepare the chocolate.

    In a double boiler, melt the chocolate chips with the peanut oil, stirring occasionally. When they are thoroughly melted, remove from heat and cool for 10 minutes.

    Line a baking sheet with wax paper. Using two forks, dip and roll each of the rosy fondant disks in the chocolate to coat, working quickly so as not to melt them. Place each on the wax paper and cool completely until the chocolate has hardened.

    Makes about 30 with a couple leftover disks I didn’t have enough chocolate for 😉

    16th-june-2015-273 (1)