Witchy Kitchen

Tag: goat cheese

  • Bible Cake with Goat Cheese Eyes

    Bible Cake with Goat Cheese Eyes

    Drag Me to Hell (2009), co-written and directed by Sam Raimi, has a lot to say about shame. Though it’s a wacky, quick-paced supernatural film with just the right amount of camp, the subject matter is particularly heavy: you can try to outrun your shame, but sooner or later it’s going to catch up with you.

    Christine (Alison Lohman) is a loan officer, trying to shed both her southern accent and her sweet nature, in order to get a promotion. She denies an elderly Romani woman a loan, who curses her to be tormented for three days before being dragged to hell. But it’s not the denial of the loan that triggers the curse, it’s Christine calling security and embarrassing the proud woman who has knelt begging at her feet. “You shame me!” She exclaims.

    And over the course of the next three days, every insecurity Christine has been running from rears its ugly head. She struggles at her job, as she’s just not able to be as ruthless as her coworker, making those “tough decisions.” She fails to impress the family of her boyfriend Clay (Justin Long), who think she is too low class and not good enough for him.

    And there’s a lot of shame around food. There’s a reading of this movie that it’s about bulimia, and there is a lot to support that. Christine stares longingly into a bakery but denies herself, later to turn to ice cream in her distress. There are a couple of references for her growing up a “fat girl” whereas she is not anymore. So many of the gruesome events of the three days involve various disgusting things going into her mouth.

    And then there’s the cake. When Christine goes to meet Clay’s family for the first time, she’s eager to make a good impression and brings a humble dish to dinner. “It’s a harvest cake,” she explains, to Clay’s bemused upperclass parents, something she would make on the farm where she grew up. When they serve it, she envisions an eyeball staring at her, and she chokes when she tries to eat it.

    This cake is such a perfect summation of Christine’s insecurities, around food, around class, around judgement, around shame. I went looking for a cake to make in a small town cookbook I inherited from my grandmother, Our First Hundred Years of Cooking (1883-1983) from the Methodist Church of Mount Holly, North Carolina. It did not disappoint. Adapted from a recipe of Mrs. Hettie Clinton Nixon’s, this is a recipe for Bible Cake, made with ingredients from the good book, with all the fruits and nuts of Christine’s harvest cake and the added benefit of scripture (useful in seances!). A goat features in the film’s seance as well, so to decorate I made little goat cheese eyeballs, watching you from every which way.

    Bible Cake with Goat Cheese Eyes

    For the cake

    • 1/2 cup butter, Judges 5:25
    • 1 cup sugar, Jeremiah 6:20
    • 3 eggs, Isaiah 10:14
    • 1 3/4 cups flour, I Kings 4:22
    • 1/2 teaspoon salt, Leviticus 2:13
    • 1 teaspoon baking powder, I Corinthians, 5:6
    • spices (I used 1 teaspoon cinnamon, 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg, and the seeds of 3 cardamom pods), I Kings 10:2
    • 1/2 cup water, Genesis 24:11
    • 1/2 tablespoon honey, Exodus 16:31
    • 1 cup each chopped raisins and dried figs, I Samuel 25:18
    • 1/2 cup chopped walnuts, Genesis 43:11
    • powdered sugar to garnish

    Heat oven to 375, and grease a 9 inch round cake pan.

    Cream together butter and sugar. Add in the 3 eggs. Separately, whisk together flour, salt, baking powder, and spices.

    Mix together water and honey, add it to the wet mixture and mix well. Stir the dry mixture into the web mixture until just combined. Fold in raisins, figs, and nuts, and transfer to the cake pan.

    Bake for approximately 45 minutes until cooked through and golden. Turn out onto a cake plate. Allow to cool and sprinkle with powdered sugar.

    For the goat cheese eyes

    • 2 ounces goat cheese, room temperature.
    • 1 cup+ powdered sugar
    • pinch of salt
    • dried fruit for decorating (I used cranberries, blueberries, and raisins)

    Whip together goat cheese, powdered sugar and salt. Cool in the fridge for an hour or so, stirring occasionally, until set up and moldable. Add powdered sugar if necessary to get a firm texture. Powder your hands with powdered sugar (and again periodically) and form teaspoon-sized balls, rolling gently, and press a dried fruit into each one. Chill until ready to use, then adorn the cake.

    First published on Nightmare on Film Street.

  • English Garden Salad with Watercress Dressing

    English Garden Salad with Watercress Dressing

    I remember I used to half believe and wholly play with fairies when I was a child. What heaven can be more real than to retain the spirit-world of childhood, tempered and balanced by knowledge and common-sense. -Beatrix Potter

    I first made this salad for our Beatrix Potter episode of Fiction Kitchen because it was as green as a Lancashire countryside and full of green garden vegetables adored by little rabbits. The new potatoes, asparagus and peas are quintessentially spring, and I fail to find anything more fresh, gentle, or English than watercress.

    English Garden Salad with Watercress Dressing

    Adapted from BBC Good Food

    Serves 4

    • 1 pound new potatoes, washed and halved or quartered
    • 1 small bunch asparagus, trimmed and cut into 1 1/2 inch pieces
    • large handful snap peas
    • olive oil
    • 6 ounces butter lettuce (one bag or one small head rinsed and chopped)
    • 4 ounces smoked salmon
    • 4 ounces goat cheese

    For the dressing

    • 1 small bunch watercress
    • 6 tablespoons olive oil
    • 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
    • 1/2 teaspoon salt
    • 1 teaspoon sugar

    Heat oven to 400 degrees. Toss potatoes with olive oil and distribute in a single layer on a roasting pan. Roast for about 30 minutes, tossing halfway through, checking for doneness at about 25. With about 7 minutes left to go, add the asparagus in a layer over the top, and with 3 minutes left to go add in the peas (if this sounds like a lot of temporal math, it doesn’t have to be precise. The potatoes being well cooked is the most important thing, and the asparagus and peas just need a little time to cook).

    While roasting, blend together all dressing ingredients in a food processor.

    Divide lettuce between 4 plates, and divide the roasted vegetables on top while still warm. Sprinkle with smoked salmon and goat cheese, and drizzle with watercress dressing.

    Recipe for Fiction Kitchen Episode 56: PETER RABBIT & OTHER BEATRIX POTTER TALES in which Carrie and Diana discuss Beatrix Potter books, and lots of English countryside food, perfect for little rabbits.

  • Apple Tansey with Goat Cheese Cream

    Apple Tansey with Goat Cheese Cream

    Wouldst thou like the taste of butter? A pretty dress? Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?

    It’s #Witchtober, hosted by Fiction Food Café. Check the tag on social media for wickedly witchy recipes!

    The Witch (2015), a “New-England Folktale” written and directed by Robert Eggers, is haunting, unsettling, and painstakingly historically accurate. From the dialog to the clothing to the Puritanical hysteria, the colonial ambience is on point. I’ve read several times how it’s not very scary, however (light spoilers) with actual baby-smashing witches, creepy twins, writhing possession and a goat which is terrifying even in its most mundane state – I respectfully ask what more do you want?

    The family dynamic in this movie is refreshing. It could have easily been a story about religious authoritarian parents repressing their daughter who is on the cusp of womanhood. Instead, though devout, they are a family who truly cares about one other and are trying their best both to live righteously and survive in a harsh new land. The parents are both Game of Thrones alums, Ralph Ineson of the low booming voice, and Kate Dickie who has the market cornered on disturbing breastfeeding scenes. Anya Taylor-Joy as Thomasin, the oldest daughter, is fresh and earnest in the face of unknown evil. Bonus points to Black Phillip for exceptional goat acting.

    I made a classic colonial dish, Apple Tansey, based of a recipe that can be found in The Compleat Housewife, first published in London in 1727 and the first cookbook to be published in the United States. A tansey is basically an egg-based dessert, and this one contains apples (and apple butter) which the children in the movie reminisce about eating back in England. The apples are cooked in plenty of butter of course, the luxury so unctuously uttered into Thomasin’s ear, and served with a lightly sweetened goat cheese cream to honor our king of sky and land, sea and sand, Black Phillilp. Wouldst thou like to live deliciously? Read onward.

    Apple Tansey with Goat Cheese Cream

    For the tansey

    • 2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, halved and sliced
    • 3 tablespoons butter
    • 4 eggs, separated
    • 3 tablespoons sour cream
    • 1 tablespoon sugar
    • 1/4 cup apple butter, store bought or homemade
    • 3 tablespoons brown sugar

    Heat the broiler. On the stovetop in a cast iron skillet or other deep oven-proof pan, melt butter, and cook apple slices on medium until softened (7-10 minutes). Meanwhile, whisk egg yolks with sour cream and sugar, whip egg whites until white and frothy and fold into the egg mixture. Lower heat to medium low and stir egg mixture into apples with a spatula and smooth on top. Swirl in the apple butter and cook for 4-5 minutes until set. Sprinkle with brown sugar and place under the broiler until brown and bubble. Cool slightly before serving with goat cheese cream.

    For the goat cheese cream

    • 4 ounces goat cheese, room temperature
    • 1/4 cup heavy cream
    • 1 tablespoon sugar

    Whip goat cheese until smooth. Separately, whip cream to soft peaks, then blend with goat cheese and sugar until smooth. Serve with the tansey.

  • Mushroom Potato Scotch Eggs | David the Gnome

    Mushroom Potato Scotch Eggs | David the Gnome

    I loved David the Gnome when I was a kid; fantastic creatures in general interested me, but gnomes in particular seemed so sweet and cozy. Affectionate, nice to animals, and with the cutest little houses; I was obsessed with their pretty Nordic carvings and their little beds built straight into the wall.

    mushroom-potato-scotch-eggs-david-the-gnome

    I had all but forgotten the show (based on a book I am now interested to read) until Diana from Fiction-Food Café and Catherine from The Gluttonous Geek started talking about it on Twitter, inspiring a watch-and-cook from all of us!

    Rewatching the show was like snuggling up in a warm blanket of nostalgia. It is exposition heavy in the most charming way: each episode starts with a snippet about the lives of gnomes – the clothes they wear, their houses, and of course the food they eat. Gnomes are very kind, and very environmentally conscious, so all their food is plant-based or else gifted by their animal friends.

    I think we all chose to use mushrooms, which seemed natural as they are forageable in the forest and form magical fairy rings. Mine I used to make scotch eggs – vegetarian of course! In the very first episode the gnomes eat skylark eggs (having no skylark eggs available I used completely mundane chicken eggs) and David, a doctor, helps an ailing goat, so I thought it might be reasonable he was repaid in goat cheese. I also have it on good authority that gnomes are partial to root vegetables, so potato seemed like a good ingredient to tie it all together.

    Mushroom Potato Scotch Eggs

    • 8 hardboiled eggs, peeled
    • 1 large russet potato, peeled and medium diced
    • 6 ounces goat cheese
    • olive oil & butter
    • 1 medium shallot, diced
    • 3 cloves garlic, grated
    • 11-12 ounces mushrooms (I used 8 ounces cremini and 3.2 ounces fresh shitake), finely chopped
    • 1 teaspoon Herbs de Provence (or a mix of herbs such as thyme, basil, or parsley)
    • salt & pepper
    • 1/2 cup flour
    • 1 egg, beaten
    • breadcrumbs (optional, I did some with, some without. I seasoned the breadcrumbs with a little salt and fresh thyme)
    • oil to fry

    Put potato in a small saucepan, just cover with water and a good pinch of salt, and bring to a boil. Boil until the potato is very soft, then drain and mix with goat cheese and a tablespoon of butter.

    On medium-high heat, warm a tablespoon of olive oil and a tablespoon (or two) butter. Cook shallot and garlic until shallot just starts to turn golden, then add the mushrooms and herbs. Cook, stirring, until mushrooms have released their water and the mixture is mostly dry. Stir into the potato mixture, season to taste, and allow to cool to room temperature.

    On medium to medium high, heat 3/4 inch of oil in a frying pan. Take a palm-sized portions of the potato mixture and form it around each of the eggs (it should be malleable and spread easily). In batches of two, roll each egg in the flour, dusting off any excess, then dip in the egg and coat with breadcrumbs if using. Fry, rolling gently, until they are golden all over, and remove to a paper towel-lined plate. (Any leftover potato mixture you can just form into little disks and fry on each side until golden).

    Serve on a bed of greens or asparagus.

    For more David the Gnome recipes, visit:

    And if you’re inspired to revisit your childhood, the entire series is on YouTube.

  • Grilled Veggie Salad with Tomato Vinaigrette

    Grilled Veggie Salad with Tomato Vinaigrette

    No barbecue (at our house at least) is complete without a leafy green salad. This one makes use of the grill with grilled onions and peppers, and some goodies on top for interesting flavor and texture. Next time I’m thinking to grill the tomatoes for the vinagrette too!

    I started putting tomatoes in my salad dressing when I was pregnant with my son. I was trying to eat tons of fruits and veggies for all those smart, healthy baby-developing vitamins and minerals (including green smoothie in the morning, oatmeal with banana midmorning, salad with lunch, carrot sticks and hummus in the afternoon….I ate a lot and pretty much constantly, haha), and adding tomato was a fun way to add a little bit more – I’d dice up a roma in the morning and let it marinate in the vinaigrette until lunchtime, yum. For this simple vinaigrette I just obliterated everything in the blender, so you get some tomatoeyness with each bite.

    Grilled Veggie Salad with Tomato Vinaigrette

    For the vinagrette

    • 1/2 medium-size tomato or whole small one
    • 1/4 cup white balsamic vineger
    • 1 teaspoon honey or maple syrup
    • few leaves basil, or a pinch dried basil
    • salt & pepper to taste
    • 1/2 cup olive oil

    Combine tomato, white balsamic vinegar, honey, salt and pepper in the blender. Add olive oil in a stream while blending.

    For the salad

    • 1 red onion, cut into large chunks and put on skewers
      couple handfuls small sweet peppers, or two red/yellow/orange peppers, deseeded
    • olive oil, salt and pepper
    • several handfuls mixed greens
    • tomato vinaigrette (above)
    • handful large green olives, sliced
    • 2 ounces goat cheese, crumbled
    • handful toasted almonds

    Prepare onion and peppers for grill by coating with a little olive oil, salt and pepper. Grill until soft and slightly charred. Cool, then cut into strips.

    Toss onions, peppers, greens, and half the olives with enough vinagrette to thinly coat, then sprinkle the remaining olives, goat cheese, and almonds on top. Serve with extra vinagrette on the side.

  • Devils on Horseback

    Devils on Horseback

    These are the perfect appetizer for your Halloween party – sweet and salty and devilish! And completely too easy to pop one after another as if possessed.

    Devils on Horseback are normally a bacon-wrapped prune or date, but for those who don’t eat pork I had originally set out to make a vegetarian version. But then, as I was procuring dates from the halal market, I also happened upon “Applewood Smoked Breakfast Beef” which greatly amused me.

    I also happened upon fig goat cheese, which sounded delightful. So this is my halal version of the devilish treat – two out of three ingredients were pure chance, almost as if they were set in my way by some angel or demon…

    Devils on Horseback

    • 24 dates
    • 4 oz fig goat cheese (you can use goat cheese with a spoonful of fig preserves mixed in, or just plain as I had originally intended)
    • 12 strips Applewood Smoked Breakfast Beef, thawed (or bacon if you must)

    Heat oven to 500°

    Pit the dates and replace each with a spoonful of the goat cheese. Slice the “bacon” strips in half, width-wise, and wrap half a slice around each of the dates, and place on a foil-lined baking sheet.

    Roast for 15 minutes or so, flipping once with tongs, until crispy. Remove to a paper-towel for a few minutes (these are admittedly pretty greasy, but then what did you expect? Devils!), then serve warm.

    For a creepy, devilish tale to listen to as you are cooking (or munching), check out the latest podcast episode New World Witchery Special Episode – The Last Dance.

  • Persephone Salad

    I am often put in charge of salad. I guess salad is a girly thing to make so I get it by default, but maybe it’s also because I can be artful in diving into the depths of the produce drawer and pantry and emerging with interesting salad ingredients and the means for a homemade vinaigrette.

    As green salads are just as much about texture as they are about flavor, here is the formula: something fresh (possibly fruity!), something creamy, something crunchy. And this salad fits perfectly.

    This particular salad concept is based on this Arugula, Pear and Goat Cheese Salad with Pomegranate Vinaigrette. I made it a couple years ago for Thanksgiving, and I’ve made variations on it ever since – including for Thanksgiving this year, and now for my daughter Zoeya’s holiday potluck.

    The ingredients are very autumnal, but the pomegranate seeds like little ruby jewels look gorgeously Christmassy as well. This is not so much a recipe as a concept with lots of options (and I’m not going to be fussy with amounts). The only absolutely essential ingredient are the pomegranate seeds, which is what makes this so lovely and appropriate for the dark months.

    Persephone Salad

    For the salad:
    greens, such as arugula, mesclun, spinach
    a green apple or pear
    seeds from half a pomegranate
    blue cheese or goat cheese
    walnuts, almonds, pecans, or pumpkin seeds (I used pumpkin seeds in this latest rendition, it’s a great options if you’re serving to people with nut allergies)

    For the vinaigrette:
    pomegranate molasses (instructions below) – this is your best option, but if you don’t have it you can use honey or jam or jelly. Maybe like that yummy lingonberry stuff they have at IKEA.
    sherry or balsamic vinegar
    olive oil or walnut oil
    salt & pepper
    a thinly sliced shallot, pickled in the vinegar, is nice

    To make pomegranate molasses, take a small bottle of pomegranate juice and heat it slowly in a saucepan, stirring, until it is thick enough to coat a spoon. Be careful not to burn.

    To assemble everything, just toss the greens and the apple or pear with some of the vinaigrette (enough to lightly coat, not to drench). Sprinkle all the rest of the ingredients on top, along with another drizzle of vinaigrette.