Tag: TV

  • Emergency Sausage Rolls

    Emergency Sausage Rolls

    Have you ever been so busy torturing your husband with a glue gun that you just didn’t have time to prepare your dish for the neighborhood potluck? Well in such an occasion these are great to have in the freezer. (I didn’t actually try freezing these, but I bet they’d do ok).

    These savory homemade sausages are fragrant and sweet from the fall flavors of apple, caramelized onion, sage and warm spices, and are wrapped in puff pastry, the harried housewife’s best friend. They’re fantastic with mustard, and were a hit with our household if you don’t count the two year old who thinks he’s a fruitarian.


    Illustration by Helene. Also, I am such an Alison.

    Emergency Sausage Rolls

    Makes 40 rolls. You can easily half this recipe, or do what I did and make 20 rolls and just eat the leftover sausages by themselves for breakfasts

    • 1 pound ground beef (pork or lamb would also work)
      2-3 tablespoons flavorless oil, plus more for frying
    • 1 large onion, chopped
    • 2 cloves garlic, grated
    • 1/2 Granny Smith apple, peeled and finely chopped
    • 1 teaspoon garam masala, or mixture of spices such as cinnamon, cloves, allspice, cumin, black pepper, etc.
    • 1 packed tablespoon sage, finely chopped
    • 1 1/2 pieces bread, well toasted and crumbled into breadcrumbs
    • salt to taste, I used a teaspoon and then another good pinch
    • 4 sheets puff pastry, partially thawed
      small amount flour for rolling
    • 3-4 egg yolks, beaten
    • kalonji/nigella/onion/black seeds or sesame seeds for sprinkling

    Heat oil on medium high and fry onion until it is well caramelized completely golden, being careful not to burn. In a medium bowl, combine onion, garlic, apple, garam masala, sage, breadcrumbs and salt, then combine the mixture with the beef.

    Heat a small amount of oil on medium high. Take palmfuls of the meat, roll and shaped into long sausage shapes. Fry in batches, rolling over after a minute or two, until they are browned on all sides and cooked through. Drain on a paper towel-lined plate.

    At this point, preheat oven to 350°

    On a floured board or counter, roll out the puff pastry. Slice each sheet lengthwise. In each half, line sausages down the length of it and roll it all up, placing on a cutting board seam-side down. Brush with egg yolk, sprinkle with seeds, and cut into 1 1/2 inch rolls (about 5 small rolls from the long roll). Place on prepared baking sheets about an inch apart and bake for 25 minutes until golden brown.

    Serve warm with mustard.

    Recipe for Fiction Kitchen Episode 16: Orphan Black in which Diana and Carrie discuss amazingly talented Tatiana Maslany, emergency freezer food, powdered donuts, seestra babka, sardines, GMO’s and which clone are you?

  • Food recap: Twin Peaks s01e01 (the pilot)

    I’m recapping all food from Twin Peaks! Spoiler alert…because there is SO much food it often overlaps with actual plot.

    Recipes (so far) from this episode

    Right from the first episode we get the motifs of coffee, cherry pie, and donuts that pretty much define the show. There’s a ton of food in the feature-length pilot, so let’s get started….

    The very first food scene we are treated to in Twin Peaks is when Pete comes in to fill his thermos with coffee and is greeted by Catherine’s resting bitch face.

    You know who else drinks coffee? Sheriff Harry S. Truman.

    Two average, not at all creepy households.
    The Palmers: some sweet product placement with Quaker oatmeal and Captain Crunch. Fruit in a basket. Shiny carafe. Coffee perhaps?
    The Briggs: Also a carafe, cute little spice rack.

    Nice big hotel breakfast at the Great Northern for the Norwegians. Braided bread? And a carafe, of course. Not food related, but this watch I’m noticing how Ben Horne is always in front of a roaring fire, à la Satan.

    First sighting of The RR! Based on the real-life Twedes Cafe. So much of our show food comes from here.

    You know who else drinks coffee? Bobby Briggs.

    Norma serves coffee, and behind Shelly is a full case of pie. This is not the last we’ll see of that pie.

    I don’t think that’s coffee.
    PS, “I thought I was your little pick-me-up” is the cutest line ever and Shelly is the best.

    Ed to James: “Buy you a coffee?” TV seems to think highschool kids drinking coffee is a thing – is it really? I guess I shouldn’t get too hung up on highschool accuracy since they don’t really bother to go to school much after the first couple of episodes, that is until Nadine becomes a mental teenage, gets superhuman strength, and joins the wrestling team.

    COOPER!!! To Diane: Lunch was $6.31 at the Lamplighter Inn on HWY 2 near Louis Fork. That was tuna fish sandwich on whole wheat, slice of cherry pie and a cup of coffee. Damn good food. Diane, if you ever get up this way, that cherry pie is worth a stop.

    From Laura’s diary: Asparagus for dinner again. I hate asparagus. Does this mean I’ll never grow up?
    Oh wow, sad. Feel the weight of that one for a minute.

    Diane, I am holding in my hand a small box of chocolate bunnies.
    This may be the moment I decided I loved Twin Peaks.

    It’s a beautiful day for a picnic.

    We don’t yet know if Audrey Horne drinks coffee, but we do know she’ll use it to eff up your desk. Audrey is way more annoying than sexy in the pilot.

    The Hornes, having a SUPER awkward tea.

    Between Husband of the Year Leo, Your Idiot Boyfriend Bobby, and actual decent people Norma and Ed – well, they are having an affair, but compared to these other two? – there’s a fair amount of beer drinking going on.

    “Do you think they spotted us?” “Get me a donut.”
    …and I guess they got donuts!

    Aaand we wrap up the episode with one of Lucy’s classic donut spreads. A policeman’s dream. Extra jelly donuts for Agent Cooper, extra decaf for Andy.

    Check back soon for another damn good food recap. In the meantime, you can check our Twin Peaks episode on Fiction Kitchen Podcast!