Tag: vegetarian

  • Seven Dates….Stuffed Dates

    Seven Dates….Stuffed Dates

    Seven days…

    The Ring (2002), directed by Gore Verbinski, was the movie that launched a myriad of J-horror remakes, and with its haunting atmosphere and compelling storyline, it’s not hard to see why. A viewing of an intensely creepy videotape, followed by the piercing ring of a phone call promises death to the viewer in seven days; it’s presented as an urban legend but immediately proves true. Naomi Watts’s performance as Rachel, a reporter and single mother trying to track down the origin of the mysterious tape, steadily builds from intelligent and curious to disturbed and desperate. All together there’s an expertly crafted sense of impending doom. 

    For a recipe, I wanted to try something a little different. Seven Dates is almost too cute a food pun, but each variation on a stuffed date is an opportunity to tie back to the film. There’s a bit of a formula: something creamy, something crunchy, something both sweet and salty. Through these variations, there’s some inspiration from Japan, origin of the original film, as well as the setting of the remake: moody, rainy Seattle. There’s a nod to little Aiden (David Dorfman), Rachel’s precocious son. And then we have takes on the classic Devils on Horseback which tie in perfectly with the film’s bleak theme. 

    Each version below makes 12 dates, and they’re all extremely simple – so you can stick to one, or divide the measurements and make several kinds at once! The measurements are approximate, it will depend on the size dates you have, but none of these are fussy and you can adjust accordingly. For all dates, slit down lengthwise and remove the pit if necessary. 

    Date 1: Miso Sesame Dates

    These have a bit of a Japanese flavor profile, with salty/umami miso, creamy tahini, and toasty sesame seeds. 

    Whisk together 2 teaspoons miso, 2 tablespoons tahini, and a teaspoon honey. Fill dates and sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds. 

    Date 2: Anko Kinako Dates

    These also have a Japanese flavor profile that is similar to Japanese sweets such as dango. Anko is sweet red bean paste that’s very versatile – it can be smooth or textured, and used as a topping or filling. You can get it storebought, or make your own (here’s a recipe from Just One Cookbook). Kinako is toasted soybean flour, and has a delightful nutty flavor, and a light smooth texture perfect for dusting. 

    Fill dates with anko, you’ll need about 3-4 tablespoons. Whisk together 1 tablespoon of kinako with 1 teaspoon sugar, and dust over the dates. 

    Date 3: Espresso Mascarpone Dates

    Perhaps stereotypical, but something definitely associated with Seattle is Starbucks. Luckily espresso and dates are a perfect pairing, and mixed with lightly sweetened mascarpone and dusted with cocoa, you have little mini tiramisu lattes. 

    Mix together 4 tablespoons mascarpone with 2 teaspoons honey and 2 teaspoons instant espresso. Stuff dates and dust with cocoa powder. 

    Date 4: Cherry Almond Dates

    The film takes us into Washington state, from nearby island to nearby mountain. Washington is famous for its cherries. For this version you can use a mild cheese like goat cheese or brie, but as I had mascarpone on hand from the previous version, I went with that!

    Stuff dates with mascarpone (3-4 tablespoons needed), then a little cherry jam (2-3 teaspoons). Top with slivered almonds. 

    Date 5: Peanut Butter and Jelly Dates

    Aiden is a very independent kid; he gets himself dressed, walks himself to school, and makes his own lunch – peanut butter and jelly!

    Mix 2 tablespoons creamy peanut butter with 1 tablespoon jelly of your choice (I used grape). Top with chopped roasted, salted peanuts.

    Date 6:  Devils on Horseback

    These are a cheese stuffed date usually wrapped in bacon then baked, but instead of wrapping them I sprinkled them with crumbled bacon to match the style of the other versions. 

    Heat broiler. Stuff dates with 3 or so tablespoons of blue cheese, and broil for 2-3 minutes. Fry two slices of bacon until very crispy and drain on a paper towel. Crumble and sprinkle over the dates. 

    Date 7: Vegan Devils on Horseback

    These are the classic – but with coconut bacon and cashew cheese! Recipes for both at The Full Helping.

    Heat broiler. Fill dates with 3-4 tablespoons cashew cheese. Broil for 2-3 minutes, then sprinkle with 1 tablespoon coconut bacon.  

    And there you have it! One thing I really learned is that the possibilities are endless – try these (they were all great) or create your own and stuff on.

    First published on Nightmare on Film Street.

  • Jackfruit Green Tinga Tacos, a Plant-Based Recipe

    Jackfruit Green Tinga Tacos, a Plant-Based Recipe

    “As long as I’m back for make-your-own-taco night, I’m in.” Spoiler: they are not back for make-your-own-taco night.

    The Ruins (2008), directed by Carter Smith and written by Scott Smith (writer of the novel of the same name) is bleak. Really bleak. There is no point that we believe the Greeks or a “world phone” will come through. It’s a long, slow demise into the killer plants.

    As unlikely as the premise sounds, The Ruins is legitimately terrifying. It’s frightening how quickly the characters slip from the safety of their mundane vacation and into the wild unknown. The film does some excellent work playing with body horror, a creeping, vining sense of dread, and the psychology of imminent doom.

    It’s not the way you want your Mexican vacation to end. Mexican vacation is for pools, beaches, and tacos.

    So of course we are making tacos inspired by The Ruins. These are spicy, green, and entirely plant based. Traditionally, tinga is made with shredded chicken, beef or pork. Jackfruit is an excellent stand in for any type of shredded meat, and as it doesn’t have a strong flavor, it can absorb the flavor of whatever sauce you simmer it in. We often have it BBQ style in sandwiches or tacos.

    For The Ruins however, I made a smokey green sauce. It’s very simple and made from few ingredients, but they balance each other out well. It’s tangy from tomatillos, spicy from jalapeños, herby from oregano. Garnish with anything lucious and green – avocado, green cabbage, lime. Cherry tomato flowers, optional.

    Jackfruit Green Tinga Tacos

    • 1 pound tomatillos, quartered
    • 1 onion, sliced into 1 inch chunks
    • 2 jalapeños, halved long ways
    • 6 cloves garlic, peeled
    • olive oil
    • 2 20 ounce cans jackfruit, drained and trimmed
    • 2 tablespoons sugar
    • 1 teaspoon oregano
    • salt to taste
    • 2 cups vegetable broth
    • Corn tortillas for serving. Avocado, shredded cabbage, lime to garnish. Quartered and seeded cherry tomatoes if you dare!

    Toss the tomatillos, onion, jalapeños, and garlic with olive oil and a sprinkle of salt, and and roast at 400 for 40-45 minutes, stirring and scraping every 10 minutes or so, until mushy and charred. Transfer to a food processor and grind until smooth. The tomatillos are quite tangy, so add enough sugar to mellow and balance, about 2 tablespoons. Salt to taste.

    Meanwhile, heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a pan or wok, and sauté jackfruit until it is starting to brown. Add tomatillo mixture, oregano, and 2 cups vegetable broth. Mix well. Cook until stewy, stirring often, and gently mashing the jackfruit until stringy.

    Serve with warm tortillas, lovely garnishes, Mexican-style red rice, and refried beans!

    First published on Nightmare on Film Street.


  • Cabbage-Stuffed Hot Cross Buns

    Cabbage-Stuffed Hot Cross Buns

    The latest installment in James Wan’s The Conjuring Universe has arrived. The Nun, directed by Corin Hardy (The Hallow), starring Demián Bichir (Alien: Covenant) and Taissa Farmiga (American Horror Story, The Final Girls), is a departure from the usual haunted houses of the franchise and takes us to a Romanian monastery inhabited by a terrifying demon nun. Two nuns up, or a bunch of nunsense? You can read the Nightmare on Film Street Review here.

    No matter your feelings on the movie, the setting is beautiful. From the castle-like abbey to the creepy crypts and underground tunnels, the Romanian architecture and religious iconography create a gorgeously gothic atmosphere.

    This Nun-inspired recipe draws on both Romanian cuisine and religious symbols. The filling is a pumped-up version of a Romanian stewed cabbage dish called varza calita, flavored with garlic, white wine, tomato, herbs, and delicious smoked paprika, which sinfully makes all vegetarian food taste like ham. The buns are similar to German bierocks, but crossed like hot cross buns to evoke our wicked demon nun. The combination of bread and a filling splashed with wine makes these the body and blood of Christ rolled into one – and a recipe every bit as blasphemous as the film. Enjoy!

    Cabbage-Stuffed Hot Cross Buns

    For the dough

    • 1 cup milk
    • 2 tablespoons melted butter
    • 3 tablespoons sugar
    • 1 1/2 ounce package yeast
    • 1 egg, lightly beaten
    • 1/2 teaspoon salt
    • 3 1/2 – 4 cups flour

    Lightly warm the milk (not so hot as to kill the yeast), and in a mixing bowl, mix well with butter and sugar. Mix in the yeast and allow to sit for 10 minutes until foamy. Stir in the egg and salt, and 3 cups of the flour. When it pulls together in a shaggy ball, dump on a well-floured surface and knead for about 10 minutes, adding flour a little at a time when it becomes too sticky to handle (another ½ cup to 1 cup). You are aiming for a slightly tacky, very elastic dough. Roll into a ball and place in a greased bowl covered with a damp dishcloth to rise for about an hour.

    For the filling

    • 3 tablespoons butter
    • 1 onion, diced
    • 3 cloves garlic, grated
    • 1 tablespoon smoked paprika
    • 1/4 cup white wine
    • 1 14 ounce can diced tomatoes
    • 1/2 – 1 teaspoon salt
    • 2 bay leaves
    • 1/2 pound sauerkraut
    • 1 tablespoon finely chopped dill
    • 1 tablespoon finely chopped parsley

    Heat butter on medium heat and cook onion until deeply golden. Add garlic and paprika and stir until fragrant, and splash in the wine. Cook until dry, then add tomatoes, salt and bay leaves, and cook, stirring often, until tomatoes are completely broken down and jammy. Add sauerkraut (you don’t need to drain, but pull out with your hands so you don’t take too much of the liquid) and cook until mixture is thick and mostly dry. Remove from heat, stir in dill and parsley, and adjust seasoning if necessary. (Since this is a filling, you want it a little drier and saltier than if it were a side dish).

    For assembly

    • 1 tablespoon milk
    • 3-4 tablespoons flour

    Punch down the dough and divide into 8 equal balls. One at a time, roll out to about 6 inches in diameter and put a couple spoonfuls of the cabbage mixture in the center. Gather the dough around the mixture and pinch together well to seal, then gently roll the whole ball in your hands to shape. Place sealed side-down on a greased baking sheet and continue with remaining buns.

    Allow to rise for 30 minutes. 20 minutes into the rising time, heat the oven to 375°. Brush the balls with milk. For the crosses, whisk together flour with enough water to make a consistency thick enough to hold its shape but thin enough to be piped. Scrape into a piping bag and pipe crosses.

    Bake for 20-25 minutes until golden brown. Cool slightly and serve.

    First published on Nightmare on Film Street.

  • Chickpea, Carrot and Pea Samosas

    Chickpea, Carrot and Pea Samosas

    Samosas are one of those foods that are easy to buy but fun to make at home, even if they are a little labor intensive. You just have to put yourself in the mindset of it being a compliment that the dish you spent forever working on gets gobbled up in seconds. They’re universally popular, and can be filled with all kinds of yummy ingredients – tandoori chicken, keema, or fluffy potatoes. These particular ones have a mixture of chickpeas, carrots and peas that are lightly spiced and delicious with chutneys.

    Since these were for our Ms Marvel menu, I made some very cute little lightning bolts for the outside of some of the samosas. I had no idea how they’d turn out – I’d made samosas before but this part was a pure experiment. I colored the dough for the lightning bolts yellow with turmeric which turned out to be wholly unnecessary as they got nice and toasty brown; they looked great regardless!

    Chickpea, Carrot and Pea Samosas

    Adapted from Jasmine in Her Hair by Huma Saddiqi

    For the dough

    • 2 cups flour
    • 1/2 teaspoon salt
    • 1/2 teaspoon nigella seeds (kalonji, or black seed)
    • 2 tablespoons flavorless oil
    • 1/4 cup warm water

    Whisk together flour, salt, nigella seeds, and oil to sandy crumbs. Pour in water, and form into a ball. Knead on a floured surface until the dough is smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes. Set aside in a bowl covered with a damp towel.

    For the filling

    • 1 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
    • 1 large carrot, diced
    • 1/2 cup peas
    • 1-2 tablespoons flavorless oil
    • 3 green onions, sliced, white and green divided
    • 1 teaspoon cumin
    • 1/2 teaspoon coriander
    • 1/2 teaspoon red chili
    • salt to taste

    Bring a small pot of salted water to a boil. Add chickpeas and carrots and simmer until carrots are soft. Add peas and cook another minute, then drain and rinse with cold water.

    Meanwhile, heat oil and gently saute the whites of the onions. Add cumin, coriander, and red chili and cook for a minute until fragrant. Add in the drained chickpeas, carrots, and peas and cook until mixture is fairly dry. Transfer to a food processor and pulse, scraping down the sides, until mixture is combined but not homogenous and still has lots of texture.

    To assemble samosas

    • Several inches of oil for frying

    Heat oil on medium in a pot or wok (I like using a wok, you get more surface area and need less oil).

    Optional, pinch off a piece of the dough to use for lightning bolts. I colored this with turmeric, but I’ll skip this step next time as it gets browned too much to tell. Divide remaining dough into 12 balls. Keep them on a plate covered with a damp towel so they don’t dry out while you work.

    Roll each ball out to about 6 inches and slice down the center so you have two semicircles. Fold the sides of the semicircle to the center of the curved side to form a triangle, and seal with water. Hold the dough in your hand to make a cone, and fill with a spoon or two of the filling. Roll the open side together and seal with water. You can reshape your samosa to a triangle at this point. (And if this all sounds crazy, watch this video at about 9:30 for folding technique).

    Fry in batches, turning, until golden brown. Drain on a paper towel-lined plate. Serve hot with green chutney, tamarind chutney, yogurt, or ketchup!

    Check out the whole Ms Marvel Menu

    See more of the The Comic Vault’s Comic Kitchen

    Photo credit: Jonathan Hartzell

  • Juniper and Almond Baked Apples

    Juniper and Almond Baked Apples

    “The Juniper Tree” (full story below) is one of the darker stories from Grimm’s Fairy Tales, and as a dark little kid it was unsurprisingly one of my favorites. I wrote and performed it as a puppet show in middle school, a puppet got decapitated and everything! It’s got all the classic Grimm motifs: the wish of a mother, an oblivious father, a wicked stepmother, burial beneath a tree, a magical bird, the eating of children, one character inexplicably getting a name while no one else does, weird verse, violent demise and a happy rebirth.


    Lovely illustration by Sirothello

    These baked apples are flavored with piney-scented juniper berries, and taste like Christmas. I referenced this recipe which uses pine nuts and sounds delicious, but I used almonds as a nod to “The Almond Tree,” (as “The Juniper Tree” is called in some editions); honestly any nuts will do. And I cook them DOWN – they’re not as pretty as some baked apples, they’re wrinkly as an old witch, but they’re cooked nice and soft all the way through.

    Juniper and Almond Baked Apples

    • 6 medium-small Macintosh apples
    • 1/2 cup brown sugar
    • 1 teaspoon juniper berries, crushed
    • 2 tablespoons melted butter
    • pinch salt
    • 1/2 cup almond slices
    • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
    • 1 teaspoon orange zest
    • 2 teaspoons orange juice
    • 1/2 cup sherry
    • 1/2 cup water

    Heat oven to 350°

    Core the apples and place in a baking dish. Mix together the brown sugar, crushed juniper berries, butter, salt, almond slivers, all spice, orange zest, and 1 1/2 teaspoons of the orange juice. Spoon the mixture into the apples (it’s ok if you have some leftover, ours fit perfectly).

    Pour sherry and water over apples along with any leftover sugar/almond mixture. Bake for 45 minutes or until apples are soft. Check occasionally to make sure almonds don’t burn; if they start to you can tent the dish with foil.

    Optional but recommended: cool for 10 minutes or so, then carefully pour the liquid from the baking dish into a sauce pan. Cook, reducing to about a quarter of the volume, cool, and use as a drizzle when serving. Serve apples warm with whipped cream or ice cream.

    Recipe for Fiction Kitchen Episode 6: GRIMM’S FAIRY TALES in which Carrie and Diana discuss German cultural identity, DNA of fairy tales, commonplace starvation, herbal abortion, the beautiful imagery of a handless maiden eating a pear, and lots of recipes and recipe ideas.

    The Juniper Tree

    Long ago, at least two thousand years, there was a rich man who had a beautiful and pious wife, and they loved each other dearly. However, they had no children, though they wished very much to have some, and the woman prayed for them day and night, but they didn’t get any, and they didn’t get any.

    In front of their house there was a courtyard where there stood a juniper tree. One day in winter the woman was standing beneath it, peeling herself an apple, and while she was thus peeling the apple, she cut her finger, and the blood fell into the snow.

    “Oh,” said the woman. She sighed heavily, looked at the blood before her, and was most unhappy. “If only I had a child as red as blood and as white as snow.” And as she said that, she became quite contented, and felt sure that it was going to happen.

    Then she went into the house, and a month went by, and the snow was gone. And two months, and everything was green. And three months, and all the flowers came out of the earth. And four months, and all the trees in the woods grew thicker, and the green branches were all entwined in one another, and the birds sang until the woods resounded and the blossoms fell from the trees. Then the fifth month passed, and she stood beneath the juniper tree, which smelled so sweet that her heart jumped for joy, and she fell on her knees and was beside herself. And when the sixth month was over, the fruit was thick and large, and then she was quite still. And after the seventh month she picked the juniper berries and ate them greedily. Then she grew sick and sorrowful. Then the eighth month passed, and she called her husband to her, and cried, and said, “If I die, then bury me beneath the juniper tree.” Then she was quite comforted and happy until the next month was over, and then she had a child as white as snow and as red as blood, and when she saw it, she was so happy that she died.

    Her husband buried her beneath the juniper tree, and he began to cry bitterly. After some time he was more at ease, and although he still cried, he could bear it. And some time later he took another wife.

    He had a daughter by the second wife, but the first wife’s child was a little son, and he was as red as blood and as white as snow. When the woman looked at her daughter, she loved her very much, but then she looked at the little boy, and it pierced her heart, for she thought that he would always stand in her way, and she was always thinking how she could get the entire inheritance for her daughter. And the Evil One filled her mind with this until she grew very angry with the little boy, and she pushed him from one corner to the other and slapped him here and cuffed him there, until the poor child was always afraid, for when he came home from school there was nowhere he could find any peace.

    One day the woman had gone upstairs to her room, when her little daughter came up too, and said, “Mother, give me an apple.”

    “Yes, my child,” said the woman, and gave her a beautiful apple out of the chest. The chest had a large heavy lid with a large sharp iron lock.

    “Mother,” said the little daughter, “is brother not to have one too?”

    This made the woman angry, but she said, “Yes, when he comes home from school.”

    When from the window she saw him coming, it was as though the Evil One came over her, and she grabbed the apple and took it away from her daughter, saying, “You shall not have one before your brother.”

    She threw the apple into the chest, and shut it. Then the little boy came in the door, and the Evil One made her say to him kindly, “My son, do you want an apple?” And she looked at him fiercely.

    “Mother,” said the little boy, “how angry you look. Yes, give me an apple.”

    Then it seemed to her as if she had to persuade him. “Come with me,” she said, opening the lid of the chest. “Take out an apple for yourself.” And while the little boy was leaning over, the Evil One prompted her, and crash! she slammed down the lid, and his head flew off, falling among the red apples.

    Then fear overcame her, and she thought, “Maybe I can get out of this.” So she went upstairs to her room to her chest of drawers, and took a white scarf out of the top drawer, and set the head on the neck again, tying the scarf around it so that nothing could be seen. Then she set him on a chair in front of the door and put the apple in his hand.

    After this Marlene came into the kitchen to her mother, who was standing by the fire with a pot of hot water before her which she was stirring around and around.

    “Mother,” said Marlene, “brother is sitting at the door, and he looks totally white and has an apple in his hand. I asked him to give me the apple, but he did not answer me, and I was very frightened.”

    “Go back to him,” said her mother, “and if he will not answer you, then box his ears.”

    So Marlene went to him and said, “Brother, give me the apple.” But he was silent, so she gave him one on the ear, and his head fell off. Marlene was terrified, and began crying and screaming, and ran to her mother, and said, “Oh, mother, I have knocked my brother’s head off,” and she cried and cried and could not be comforted.

    “Marlene,” said the mother, “what have you done? Be quiet and don’t let anyone know about it. It cannot be helped now. We will cook him into stew.”

    Then the mother took the little boy and chopped him in pieces, put him into the pot, and cooked him into stew. But Marlene stood by crying and crying, and all her tears fell into the pot, and they did not need any salt.

    Then the father came home, and sat down at the table and said, “Where is my son?” And the mother served up a large, large dish of stew, and Marlene cried and could not stop.

    Then the father said again, “Where is my son?”

    “Oh,” said the mother, “he has gone across the country to his mother’s great uncle. He will stay there awhile.”

    “What is he doing there? He did not even say good-bye to me.”

    “Oh, he wanted to go, and asked me if he could stay six weeks. He will be well taken care of there.”

    “Oh,” said the man, “I am unhappy. It isn’t right. He should have said good-bye to me.” With that he began to eat, saying, “Marlene, why are you crying? Your brother will certainly come back.”

    Then he said, “Wife, this food is delicious. Give me some more.” And the more he ate the more he wanted, and he said, “Give me some more. You two shall have none of it. It seems to me as if it were all mine.” And he ate and ate, throwing all the bones under the table, until he had finished it all.

    Marlene went to her chest of drawers, took her best silk scarf from the bottom drawer, and gathered all the bones from beneath the table and tied them up in her silk scarf, then carried them outside the door, crying tears of blood.

    She laid them down beneath the juniper tree on the green grass, and after she had put them there, she suddenly felt better and did not cry anymore.

    Then the juniper tree began to move. The branches moved apart, then moved together again, just as if someone were rejoicing and clapping his hands. At the same time a mist seemed to rise from the tree, and in the center of this mist it burned like a fire, and a beautiful bird flew out of the fire singing magnificently, and it flew high into the air, and when it was gone, the juniper tree was just as it had been before, and the cloth with the bones was no longer there. Marlene, however, was as happy and contented as if her brother were still alive. And she went merrily into the house, sat down at the table, and ate.

    Then the bird flew away and lit on a goldsmith’s house, and began to sing:

    My mother, she killed me,
    My father, he ate me,
    My sister Marlene,
    Gathered all my bones,
    Tied them in a silken scarf,
    Laid them beneath the juniper tree,
    Tweet, tweet, what a beautiful bird am I.

    The goldsmith was sitting in his workshop making a golden chain, when he heard the bird sitting on his roof and singing. The song seemed very beautiful to him. He stood up, but as he crossed the threshold he lost one of his slippers. However, he went right up the middle of the street with only one slipper and one sock on. He had his leather apron on, and in one hand he had a golden chain and in the other his tongs. The sun was shining brightly on the street.

    He walked onward, then stood still and said to the bird, “Bird,” he said, “how beautifully you can sing. Sing that piece again for me.”

    “No,” said the bird, “I do not sing twice for nothing. Give me the golden chain, and then I will sing it again for you.”

    The goldsmith said, “Here is the golden chain for you. Now sing that song again for me.” Then the bird came and took the golden chain in his right claw, and went and sat in front of the goldsmith, and sang:

    My mother, she killed me,
    My father, he ate me,
    My sister Marlene,
    Gathered all my bones,
    Tied them in a silken scarf,
    Laid them beneath the juniper tree,
    Tweet, tweet, what a beautiful bird am I.

    Then the bird flew away to a shoemaker, and lit on his roof and sang:

    My mother, she killed me,
    My father, he ate me,
    My sister Marlene,
    Gathered all my bones,
    Tied them in a silken scarf,
    Laid them beneath the juniper tree,
    Tweet, tweet, what a beautiful bird am I.

    Hearing this, the shoemaker ran out of doors in his shirtsleeves, and looked up at his roof, and had to hold his hand in front of his eyes to keep the sun from blinding him. “Bird,” said he, “how beautifully you can sing.”

    Then he called in at his door, “Wife, come outside. There is a bird here. Look at this bird. He certainly can sing.” Then he called his daughter and her children, and the journeyman, and the apprentice, and the maid, and they all came out into the street and looked at the bird and saw how beautiful he was, and what fine red and green feathers he had, and how his neck was like pure gold, and how his eyes shone like stars in his head.

    “Bird,” said the shoemaker, “now sing that song again for me.”

    “No,” said the bird, “I do not sing twice for nothing. You must give me something.”

    “Wife,” said the man, “go into the shop. There is a pair of red shoes on the top shelf. Bring them down.” Then the wife went and brought the shoes.

    “There, bird,” said the man, “now sing that piece again for me.” Then the bird came and took the shoes in his left claw, and flew back to the roof, and sang:

    My mother, she killed me,
    My father, he ate me,
    My sister Marlene,
    Gathered all my bones,
    Tied them in a silken scarf,
    Laid them beneath the juniper tree,
    Tweet, tweet, what a beautiful bird am I.

    When he had finished his song he flew away. In his right claw he had the chain and in his left one the shoes. He flew far away to a mill, and the mill went clickety-clack, clickety-clack, clickety-clack. In the mill sat twenty miller’s apprentices cutting a stone, and chiseling chip-chop, chip-chop, chip-chop. And the mill went clickety-clack, clickety-clack, clickety-clack.

    Then the bird went and sat on a linden tree which stood in front of the mill, and sang:

    My mother, she killed me,

    Then one of them stopped working.

    My father, he ate me,

    Then two more stopped working and listened,

    My sister Marlene,

    Then four more stopped,

    Gathered all my bones,
    Tied them in a silken scarf,

    Now only eight only were chiseling,

    Laid them beneath

    Now only five,

    the juniper tree,

    Now only one,

    Tweet, tweet, what a beautiful bird am I.

    Then the last one stopped also, and heard the last words. “Bird,” said he, “how beautifully you sing. Let me hear that too. Sing it once more for me.”

    “No,” said the bird, “I do not sing twice for nothing. Give me the millstone, and then I will sing it again.”

    “Yes,” he said, “if it belonged only to me, you should have it.”

    “Yes,” said the others, “if he sings again he can have it.”

    Then the bird came down, and the twenty millers took a beam and lifted the stone up. Yo-heave-ho! Yo-heave-ho! Yo-heave-ho!

    The bird stuck his neck through the hole and put the stone on as if it were a collar, then flew to the tree again, and sang:

    My mother, she killed me,
    My father, he ate me,
    My sister Marlene,
    Gathered all my bones,
    Tied them in a silken scarf,
    Laid them beneath the juniper tree,
    Tweet, tweet, what a beautiful bird am I.

    When he was finished singing, he spread his wings, and in his right claw he had the chain, and in his left one the shoes, and around his neck the millstone. He flew far away to his father’s house.

    In the room the father, the mother, and Marlene were sitting at the table.

    The father said, “I feel so contented. I am so happy.”

    “Not I,” said the mother, “I feel uneasy, just as if a bad storm were coming.”

    But Marlene just sat and cried and cried.

    Then the bird flew up, and as it seated itself on the roof, the father said, “Oh, I feel so truly happy, and the sun is shining so beautifully outside. I feel as if I were about to see some old acquaintance again.”

    “Not I,” said the woman, “I am so afraid that my teeth are chattering, and I feel like I have fire in my veins.” And she tore open her bodice even more. Marlene sat in a corner crying. She held a handkerchief before her eyes and cried until it was wet clear through.

    Then the bird seated itself on the juniper tree, and sang:

    My mother, she killed me,

    The mother stopped her ears and shut her eyes, not wanting to see or hear, but there was a roaring in her ears like the fiercest storm, and her eyes burned and flashed like lightning.

    My father, he ate me,

    “Oh, mother,” said the man, “that is a beautiful bird. He is singing so splendidly, and the sun is shining so warmly, and it smells like pure cinnamon.”

    My sister Marlene,

    Then Marlene laid her head on her knees and cried and cried, but the man said, “I am going out. I must see the bird up close.”

    “Oh, don’t go,” said the woman, “I feel as if the whole house were shaking and on fire.”

    But the man went out and looked at the bird.

    Gathered all my bones,
    Tied them in a silken scarf,
    Laid them beneath the juniper tree,
    Tweet, tweet, what a beautiful bird am I.

    With this the bird dropped the golden chain, and it fell right around the man’s neck, so exactly around it that it fit beautifully. Then the man went in and said, “Just look what a beautiful bird that is, and what a beautiful golden chain he has given me, and how nice it looks.”

    But the woman was terrified. She fell down on the floor in the room, and her cap fell off her head. Then the bird sang once more:

    My mother killed me.

    “I wish I were a thousand fathoms beneath the earth, so I would not have to hear that!”

    My father, he ate me,

    Then the woman fell down as if she were dead.

    My sister Marlene,

    “Oh,” said Marlene, “I too will go out and see if the bird will give me something.” Then she went out.

    Gathered all my bones,
    Tied them in a silken scarf,

    He threw the shoes down to her.

    Laid them beneath the juniper tree,
    Tweet, tweet, what a beautiful bird am I.

    Then she was contented and happy. She put on the new red shoes and danced and leaped into the house. “Oh,” she said, “I was so sad when I went out and now I am so contented. That is a splendid bird, he has given me a pair of red shoes.”

    “No,” said the woman, jumping to her feet and with her hair standing up like flames of fire, “I feel as if the world were coming to an end. I too, will go out and see if it makes me feel better.”

    And as she went out the door, crash! the bird threw the millstone on her head, and it crushed her to death.

    The father and Marlene heard it and went out. Smoke, flames, and fire were rising from the place, and when that was over, the little brother was standing there, and he took his father and Marlene by the hand, and all three were very happy, and they went into the house, sat down at the table, and ate.

  • Cazuela Blanca

    Cazuela Blanca

    The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende is a poignant and whimsical story of a family, told in beautiful rolling prose. The story unfolds across generations and across Chile, from Santiago to the countryside at the family’s estate, the Trés Marias, where they spend their summers and the daughter, Blanca, feels most at home.

    Their traditional first night dinner is cazuela de ave, consequently the national dish of Chile. It’s a soupy stew, very unfussy with the chicken still on the bone and the corn still on the cob. It’s lightly seasoned and intensely homey and comforting. This version is vegetarian, using cannellini beans in place of chicken. With the white beans, white sweet corn, and potatoes, it’s light and bright, and named for the character that loves it most. Cazuela feels as warm and familiar as curling up with the book.

    Cazuela Blanca

    • olive oil
    • 1 white onion, sliced (halve first, then cut the halves into thirds so the slices aren’t crazy long)
    • salt and white pepper (black pepper is fine)
    • 3 cloves garlic, grated
    • 8 cups vegetable broth (optional, I create more umami by simmering a piece of kombu with the broth and removing at the end)
    • 2 cans cannellini beans, rinsed
    • 4 ears white corn, peeled, cleaned, and cut into thirds
    • 1 pound potatoes, peeled and cubed
    • 1 pound butternut squash, peeled and cubed
    • garnish: hot sauce, cilantro, parsley

    Heat a couple tablespoons olive oil, and cook onion with a generous sprinkle of salt and pepper until translucent and just starting to color. Add garlic and cook for a minute or so, then add vegetable broth, stirring to make sure nothing is stuck to the bottom. Add beans and bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer for 5-10 minutes. Add corn, potatoes and butternut squash and check seasoning, adding more salt if necessary. Simmer until potatoes and butternut squash are very soft but not falling apart.

    Serve hot over rice or with crusty bread, sprinkled with herbs and with a dash of hot sauce.

    Recipe for Fiction Kitchen Episode 59: THE HOUSE OF THE SPIRITS & MARY AND THE WITCH’S FLOWER in which Carrie and Diana discuss pastries, country food, bland translations, pretty edible flowers, and elaborate picnics!

  • Rye Popovers with Welsh Rarebit Sauce

    Rye Popovers with Welsh Rarebit Sauce

    I adored Tim Burton’s 2016 film Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children based on the book of the same name by Ransom Riggs. I can attribute most of my love to the film’s charming and spookyl atmosphere, from the Burtonesque settings, to the paranomal abilitied children I’ve described as X-Men through an Instagram filter, to the hauntingly lovely Florence and the Machine song that plays through the credits. I can attribute the rest of my love to the luminous Eva Green as Miss Peregrine.

    Illustration by Andrew Tarusov

    Miss Peregrine’s school is located in Wales, and to my American sensibility the most iconic Welsh food is Welsh Rarebit (please comment and school me if there are more dishes I should know). As far as dishes go though, this is a good one, the sauce is simply amazing. One of my peculiar children declared “dis is yum!”

    I made the lovely rarebit creamy cheese sauce flavored with dijon, worcestershire sauce and ale (I used pumpkin beer!) but rather than on rye toast, I made some light and airy rye popovers to evoke Emma (yes in the book it’s Olive) who is lighter than air. I wonder if she’s a good cook – she’s probably great at things like popovers, soufflees, meringues, puris, foams and lattes.

    Just a note, in a rare twist I adapted nothing this time, both unaltered recipes came out really nice.

    Rye Popovers with Welsh Rarebit Sauce

    For the popovers
    Recipe from Food.com

    • 3⁄4 cup rye flour
    • 1 cup all-purpose flour
    • 1⁄2 teaspoon salt
    • 1 cup milk
    • 1 tablespoon butter, melted
    • 2 eggs, lightly beaten

    Heat over to 450° and grease a muffin tin.

    Whisk together flours and salt, then add milk, butter, and eggs. Mix well and divide between muffin cups.

    Bake for 20 minutes, then reduce heat to 350$deg; and bake for another 5 minutes. Cool on a rack. Serve with rarebit sauce, below.

    For the rarebit sauce
    Recipe from Alton Brown

    • 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
    • 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
    • 1 teaspoon dijon mustard
    • 1 teaspoon worcestershire sauce (vegetarian sauce to make vegetarian)
    • 1/4 teaspoon coarse salt
    • 1/4 teaspoon freshly cracked pepper
    • 1/4 cup beer (porter is best, I used a lighter pumpkin beer, also good)
    • 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons heavy cream
    • 3/4 cups shredded cheddar

    On low heat in a saucepan, heat butter and flour, whisking continuously for several minutes (do not let flour brown). Whisk in in dijon mustard, worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper until well combined. Whisk in beer and cream, and add cheddar. Cook, whisking constantly, for 5-7 minutes until cheese is melted completely and mixture has slightly thickened. Remove from heat and serve warm with popovers.

    Recipe for Fiction Kitchen Podcast Episode 48: MISS PEREGRINE’S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN in which Carrie and Diana discuss the 2016 Tim Burton film and the novel by Ransom Riggs that it’s based on. Giant carrots, weird little back-teeth, eyeball munching, carnival food; all very peculiar.

  • Hasty Trail Mix

    Hasty Trail Mix

    There are lots of foraged ingredients in the game you can use to create ability-enhancing dishes and elixirs and it’s so much fun to test combinations. I had an idea to make a trail mix, mostly because I was excited to see speed-enhancing fleet lotus seeds as an ingredient. Puffed lotus seeds, or fox nuts (I love that name), you can find in Indian groceries, and by toasting them and tossing them with spices or just sea salt you can make a tasty snack! I thought to make this trail mix even speedier with some speedy carrot; crunchy fried carrots is a fun technique I first experimented with to create a garnish for carrot fennel soup, and their sweetness really rounds out the flavors here. Toasted nuts complete the trail mix, and it’s perfect for you to throw in your pouch and take on an adventure.

    Hasty Trail Mix

    • vegetable oil for frying
    • 5 or 6 medium carrots, peeled and trimmed
    • 1/2 cup cashews
    • 1/2 cup peanuts
    • 1/2 cup pumpkin seeds
    • 2 cups puffed lotus seeds (phool makhana)
    • 1/2 teaspoon chaat masala (or a sprinkle of sea salt)

    Heat about a half inch of oil in a pan and line a plate with paper towels. Shave carrots into thin strips with the peeler and fry in batches, stirring gently until just turning golden; remove and drain on the plate.

    After carrot is done, pour all but about a teaspoon of the oil off the pan. Toast cashews, peanuts and pumpkin seeds until just starting to color, then remove to a bowl. Toast lotus seeds until golden, and add to the bowl as well.

    Toss nut and lotus seed mixture with chaat masala, and lastly add in the carrots and gently mix so they don’t crumble. Serve warm for movie night or room temperature for adventuring.

  • Poisonous Soup Matcha Broth

    Poisonous Soup Matcha Broth

    Day-in day-out Sally, #nevernotpoisoning, tries to poison the Evil Scientist using ingredients from her quaint little garden of deadly herbs. On this particular night, she uses her deadly nightshade masked by frog’s breath and worm’s wort.

    My version swaps ingredients for each of these – instead of deadly nightshade, an edible nightshade (green pepper), seaweedy dashi for the most pleasant interpretation of frog’s breath, and mirin, a sweet alcohol for the worm’s wort (wormwood is sweet and the main ingredient of absinthe). For the gruesome green shade I added a little matcha.

    What was originally a poisonous soup translated to a beautiful restorative broth. Sip on its own or use it to cook a lovely bowl of rice noodles and veggies!

    Poisonous Soup

    • 3 cups water
    • 1 2×2 inch square kombu
    • 1/2 a green pepper, cut into large chunks
    • 1 pinch bonito flakes
    • 1 teaspoon mirin
    • 1 teaspoon matcha

    Put water in a sauce pan and soak the kombu for at least 30 minutes. Add the green pepper and bring to a boil, then lower to a low simmer for 30 minutes. Remove from heat and add bonito flakes and let stand for 10 minutes.

    Strain, and gently warm, stirring in mirin and matcha.

    This dish was first posted for Fiction Kitchen Episode 47: THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS in which Carrie and Diana discuss the classic Tim Burton Halloween (or is it Christmas?) movie, and all the rotten goodies within. #NeverNotPoisoning

    Boys and ghouls, it’s MAY MONSTER MADNESS hosted by Annie Walls. Find more bloodcurdling blogs with the links below!

  • Lemony White Bean Hummus

    Lemony White Bean Hummus

    My 9 year old, Zoeya, has snapped up all thirteen novels in Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, and all of us in our family are fans of Netflix’s adaptation which I have dubbed the NPH Show (Neil Patrick Harris’s murderous Count Olaf is exquisite).

    Being a bit of a smartypants herself, Zoeya loves the too-clever children Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire and their counterplots to escape Count Olaf’s clutches. I myself love the Victorian gothic undertones, creepier elements, and fun quirky appearances of actors I love. Joan Cusack is an adorable Justice Strauss in the first two episodes which essentially cover the first book in the series, The Bad Beginning.

    Justice Strauss lives in the charming and bright house next to Count Olaf’s dark and dilapidated manor. Although she is an example of one of the adults that fail the children over and over again, her flaw being ridiculous and extreme pedanticism, she is kind and has their best interest at heart. She returns from the store at one point saying she has the ingredients for white bean hhhummus (over-enunciated with some hocking from the epiglottis).

    Inspired by this, I pulled back my hair Violet Baudelaire-style and made a very lemony (pun intended) version of white bean hhhummus with rosemary as charming and bright as Justice Strauss’s house, served with baguette which we can see in her grocery sack as well as crunchy veggies which biting baby Sunny is partial to. It’s very “festive”, a word which here means “fun” (narrator wink).

    Lemony White Bean Hummus

    • 1 1/2 cups cooked white beans (or one can, rinsed)
    • 1/4 cup tahini
    • zest and juice of 1 lemon
    • 1 clove garlic, roughly chopped
    • 3 sprigs rosemary, leaves removed and roughly chopped (you could also use other herbs such as parsley or thyme, or a combination)
    • salt & pepper to taste
    • 1/4 cup olive oil (plus a little for garnish)

    In a food processor, combine white beans, tahini, lemon juice and zest, garlic, rosemary, and a generous pinch salt and pepper until well combined. While still running, drizzle in olive oil. Check seasoning and adjust if necessary.

    Serve drizzled with a little olive oil with toasted baguette or pita and crunchy veggies.

    Recipe for Fiction Kitchen Episode 54: A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS in which Carrie and Diana discuss the first four lamentable books in Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events in relation to the grievous new Netflix show. We talk putrid puttanesca, crummy coconut cake, cumbersome cucumber soup, and tragic chewing gum. You’ve been warned. We’re sure there are more uplifting things you could be listening to, so feel free to turn away now.