I’m recapping all food from Twin Peaks! Spoiler alert…because there is SO much food it often overlaps with actual plot.

Let’s jump right in and get it percolating.

The opening shot is great, slowly panning through Cooper’s room at the Great Northern, where we discover him hanging bat-style and already thinking about breakfast. The true test of any hotel, as you know Diane, is that morning cup of coffee, which I’ll be getting back to you about in about a half hour.

And supposedly about half an hour later, we get the Great Northern Coffee Test. Wait a minute, wait a minute – results are in.

You know, this is – excuse me – a damn fine cup of coffee. I’ve had I can’t tell you how many cups of coffee in my life, and this, this is one of the best.

Now I’d like two eggs over hard, no don’t tell me it’s hard on the arteries, but old habits die hard, just about as hard as I want those eggs. Bacon, super crispy, almost burned, cremated. That’s great. And I’ll have the grapefruit juice, just as long as those grapefruits…

…are freshly squeezed.

As Cooper’s giving his typical enthusiastic and descriptive breakfast order, Audrey saunters in, looking super hot…and I guess juicy?

Not food related, but I need that sweater.

Andy’s munching on some kind of morning bakery item, plus coffee of course.

Lucy’s also got a jelly donut from one of the giant stack of pink boxes behind her, and what appears to be a Santa Claus mug? Cute! Speaks to Cooper through a mouthful of donuts.

We linger on Truman taking a big bite; I love random shots like this from the show, they are charming and quirky. Mouth completely full as Cooper is going on a mile an minute about the case, and then reiterating Coffee at the Great Northern? Incredible.

I’m going to come by the diner sometime today. Be a good girl and save me a piece of pie. Well, that’s the most menacing talk about pie so far in the show.

Encore of this picnic. The video is extremely silly, but Laura looks so happy.

Ed, drinking coffee and perusing the donut situation, looking a little rough after his bar brawl the night before. Truman: how’s that coconut? Which is I guess a thing people say, but a nice little food idiom piece of foreshadowing.

Ed also thinks his beer was drugged, must be the Jacques Renault special.

Cooper’s on the phone with Mr. Albert Rosenfeld (yesss, I can’t wait until Albert gets here).

Albert, listen…if you come up through Lewis Fork, I can recommend a place for lunch. The Lamplighter Inn. They got a cherry pie there that’ll kill ya.

Cooper’s facial expression is adorable but maybe be a little more sensitive with your word choice during your murder investigation?

Norma delivering food from the diner to the hardware store (we get several RR food deliveries in the show), runs into an aggressively kooky Nadine and her cotton balls.

Fisherman Pete doing what he does best, cleaning some fish – and setting the stage for one of the most classic Twin Peaks lines ever, here it comes.

As Pete talks to Truman on the intercom, we see hanging baskets in the kitchen with fruit and potatoes. These remind me of my grandparents because they had some in their laundry room.

I’ll make a fresh pot of coffee. Don’t do it Josie! This will not end well.

In just a minute, she offers the two gentlemen a cup of joe. I love Josie and her little outdated slangy expressions from what must be a 1940s English textbook.

Cooper asks for his coffee Black as midnight on a moonless night. First of all, this description is poetic and wonderful, second of all there is an incredulous pause which is great, then Pete says Pretty black.

And then…Fellas, don’t drink that coffee! You’d never guess..there was a fish…in the percolator!

In a little bit we see him washing out that percolator.

Catherine with champagne, does she celebrate every bitchy phone call she makes? Oh, what’s this? Cheers?

And, the owner of that other glass of champs is…

Ew!! Come on, Catherine, this guy? Of all the many Twin Peaks affairs, this one’s the ickiest – and that’s not even counting all the toe sucking.

Sarah? Darling? Your sedatives?

Daddy…I did go in there to check out that ridiculous smorgasbord. And while I was in there I happened to mention that I was sad.

Smorgasbord is early on my list of things to make, I had a smorgasbord potluck awhile back and it was kjempebra. (That’s Norwegian for awesome, thanks Google Translate).

For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful.

Also, Lord, I’d like to request you prevent my cute sweet kids from turning into sulky asshole teenagers. Let’s see, we’ve got iced tea, bread…and ah yes, meatloaf! (Also, that pineapple stand in the background is amazing).

Bam! Cuh-lassic.

Unsurprisingly, quite a bit of food talk at the RR.

Truman suggests Agent Cooper here might want to try a slice of that cherry pie, which Shelly claims is the best in the tricounties. Cooper complains he still can’t get fish taste out of his mouth.

Cooper got his pie…and asks Norma about Laura helping out with the meals on wheels program delivering hot meals to elderly shut-ins.

Two more pieces of this incredible pie.

Who’s that drinking coffee? Aw, RIP log lady. Catherine Coulson sadly passed away last week.

Hi Leo. Brought you some pie. Shelly, that dude does not deserve your pie.

Also, Shelly’s kitchen is the cutest; I’ll elaborate in the future but I couldn’t find a tasteful way to talk about woodland mushroom salt and pepper shakers and domestic violence in the same paragraph.

James comes over for the world’s most corny suburban dinner. Mrs. Hayward’s been cooking up a storm. She offers soft drinks…and fruit punch…and sparkling cider. James asks for fruit punch. Mrs. Hayward has made a roast. Donna sweetly and primly delivers James’s fruit punch and they moon over each other at the dinner table.

Jacoby’s munching on something as he listens to Laura’s tape…perhaps a Hawaiian macadamia nut? And hmm…return of the coconut.

Check back soon for another damn good food recap. In the meantime, you can check our Twin Peaks episode on Fiction Kitchen Podcast!